Modern dating can be a minefield and navigating sex with a new person can make things even more nerve-wracking.
A recent Bumble survey found 39 per cent of Kiwi singles admit to feeling inexperienced in the bedroom which impacts their self-confidence.
Today on the Herald’s In the Loop podcast, Bumble’s resident sexologist Chantelle Otten speaks to hosts Cheree Kinnear and Katie Harris about attraction, chemistry and how to gain confidence with sex.
“When it comes to our appearance, we have to really dress in a way that makes us feel really good and we have to present in a way that is authentic with our representation.”
Confidence, she said, is something we can create.
![Chantelle Otten.](https://www.nzherald.co.nz/resizer/v2/WZ2JYBZ4QJEZ3CF7LWSUTJYVPE.jpg?auth=06bc19b51bf16a10446e7cf4086fc69a3e71d472828bddc58ecb89ef769ea439&width=16&height=24&quality=70&smart=true)
Otten details ways in which people can speak to their partners about their needs and how they can adjust their body language to improve their confidence.
“It’s about education, are you following people that are sex positive, you know, do you have people to talk about this with? Because you need to get that confidence around going, ‘Hey can you do this?’, from somewhere.”
Later in the show, 31-year-old Otten talks about people in non-monogamous relationships, unexplainable chemistry, and exploring how we engage with others in the world.
![The sexologist Chantelle Otten spoke to the Herald's In the Loop podcast.](https://www.nzherald.co.nz/resizer/v2/YRJBY7NBBJEY3HYMSJANA7AWNU.jpg?auth=83d46a19aa9c928b4724cd4b038ae0bbf94292f8f9f76b67fbb8c66f5754e723&width=16&height=22&quality=70&smart=true)
She also reveals the latest trends in dating, including “Open Casting”, how people are now more open to who they consider dating beyond their “type” and “guardrailing”, the prioritisation of our boundaries.
Hear the full conversation here.