Too much Masterchef?

"Deconstructed flavour of tomato bean lying with pyramids of wheat conglomerate browned under a dry heat accompanied by rendered organic baby Italian tomatoes," writes Roger Harper. (Via Only in New Zealand Facebook page)

Crazy drivers indeed

Neil Bailey writes: "On a recent trip to the airport in Fiji, our friendly Fijian taxi driver was telling us about a fatal crash that had just happened south of Nadi airport involving a tourist bus. 'Look at this', he said — as he was looking at his phone while driving, and turned around to show us — 'all these crazy drivers on the roads causing these accidents'! Mmmm, yes thanks for that — now eyes back on the road please. Although it was a little difficult to see the road ahead as the windscreen was so badly cracked ... crazy drivers indeed."

Flubbed small talk

1.

Rae says she muddled "Mr" and "um" — got "Mum" ... in addressing a teacher, much to the amusement of fellow pupils.

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2.

When Ann moved to New Zealand from the US and had to get used to a new currency she couldn't decide whether to say "dollars" or "bucks" and frequently ended up saying "bollucks".

3.

As a child, excited about placing her own order at McDonald's, Alison wanted to ask for a Big Mac and Small Fries, but instead asked for a Big Smack.

Gourmet price — who cares?

"I admit that calling vegemite a 'gourmet food' may be a step too far but I have to admit that I was overjoyed to see a similar display at Sydney Airport when recently en route to Beijing/China and Mongolia. I suddenly realised that I forgot to pack my jar and was able to purchase one there at a gourmet price of A$8.99. Not sure I could have survived breakfast times without it over my four-week journey."

The power of Z

"Amazing — yes, I also get quite an excited flutter when I see 'Z' on a page," writes a reader. "Particularly of an international author — and my eyes seem to go direct to it — perhaps in the hope it might be featuring New Zealand, or a New Zealander! Often disappointed, but not always."