BREAKING: Mount Ferndale has erupted, engulfing the town in a deadly cloud of ash and totally ruining Chris Warner's 50th birthday party. The Spinoff's Calum Henderson bring you a chronological selection of the best lines of dialogue from tonight's one-liner-filled special episode.

"This hospital's gone to rack and ruin since I left" - original receptionist Marjorie Brasch on the state of it

"This hospital's gone to rack and ruin since I left"

"Oh, you squashed my peonies" - Stuart Neilson after Harper squashed his peonies (they later kissed!)

"Oh, you squashed my peonies"

"We're all just hanging on by a thread" - Dark Chris Warner

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Marj and Stew. Photo / Supplied
Marj and Stew. Photo / Supplied

"God can't save you now" - a hired goon beating the crap out of someone called 'Hawks', seconds before a friggen volcano erupted... saving him

"God can't save you now"

"Our baby is being born in a freaking car" - Lucy, giving birth to a baby in a freaking car

"Last time I was stuck in this lift I had a dicky tummy ... this time I've got a dicky ticker" - Marj, again, stuck in a lift, again

"Just little bits of history repeating" - Shirley Bassey and Propellerheads back in '98, somehow foretelling this episode

"Bit of a headache or blood squirting out your eyes?" - Nick manning the reception desk

"Will uncle Boyd die?" - TK's kid calmly watching Boyd spew up some kind of black tar

"Just a plain wicker casket and Kiri Te Kanawa" - Marj planning her funeral

Mount Ferndale erupted. Photo / Supplied
Mount Ferndale erupted. Photo / Supplied

"I'm pinching back a panic poo" - Damo from IT re: needing the toilet

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"Tell me where my sister is or I'll rip ya head off and spit down ya neck" - Chris Warner's son Frank threatening a hired good

"I'm a mountain Sarah - sometimes I explode" - supervillain Mason Coutts after murdering Frank

"I’m a mountain Sarah – sometimes I explode"

"It's the mountain, Boyd, the deep Dionysian truth" - Eve dropping an Easter egg for the academics

“It’s the mountain, Boyd, the deep Dionysian truth”

"Mate, I don't know you, and you've got sick on your shoes" - Lionel Skeggins to Chris Warner, seconds after Waverley vomited on his shoes

"I'm pregnant as anything - again!" - Waverley to Nick

"Yes, I'm a sperm volcano!" - Nick to Waverley

Lionel made a cameo return. Photo / Supplied
Lionel made a cameo return. Photo / Supplied

"Nick Harrison, You can use the s-word at home but not in a public hospital" - Marj's second-last words

"Life's too short and wonderful for regrets" - Marj's last words

“Life’s too short and wonderful for regrets”

- This story appears in The Spinoff and has been republished with permission