Andrew Alderson falls hard for the romance of Chateau Tongariro's historic and literary atmosphere.
If the Ruapehu Lounge at Chateau Tongariro was a book, you might describe it as having the compelling atmosphere of Ian Fleming's On Her Majesty's Secret Service coupled with opulent hints of F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby and possessing a captivating Agatha Christie sheen.
The views are not as panoramic as what Fleming's James Bond witnessed at Ernst Stavro Blofeld's villainous lair on the 2970m Schilthorn in Switzerland but might cater better to all seasons. Jay Gatsby's mansion on Long Island's West Egg demonstrated more decadence and hedonism but the Whakapapa skiing fraternity can hold its own.
Regarding the Christie denouement, well, that might be pushing it. Hercule Poirot didn't exactly sit a gaggle of guests down next to the roaring macrocarpa logs to reveal "whodunnit" during our autumnal visit, but there's scope for a murder mystery weekend.
In fact, considering its grandeur, the Ruapehu Lounge (and the entire Chateau for that matter) has rarely featured as a location in books, television or films. It'd make the quintessential venue for an apres ski plot.
The temptations for comparisons with the fictional world are bountiful in such an idyllic setting, but the real secret to embracing the experience is to be absorbed by what the promotional brochures describe as "timeless elegance".
You can:
1. Ensconce yourself with a sundowner in a plush strawberry armchair adjacent to the Ngauruhoe bay window to watch the twilight rays slip off the mountain.
2. Grab an adventure tome, preferably something by Hemingway or Crump, and be the antithesis to such novels' rugged protagonists by couch potatoing fireside under soft chandelier lighting.
3. Tap your brogues on the shagpile and order another round of hot chocolate as the resident crooner channels Dean Martin with a rendition of Let it Snow!
4. Don a dinner suit, pop your dram of whisky on the sideboard and stride around the snooker table pretending to pot balls like Hurricane Higgins.
5. Tuck into delicacies such as tartare of salmon ($18.50), chateaubriand ($78 for two) with a side of lemon thyme baked potatoes ($8) and Drambuie creme brulee ($16). A three-course meal is likely to set guests back $66-$82 each plus drinks.
Those experiences still match the vision of the proprietors when construction began in 1929, just before the Great Depression. The four-storey Georgian structure was built and opened, albeit unfurnished, in less than seven months, revolutionising Whakapapa skifield's presence as a resort.
Barring a brief spell as an asylum when an earthquake damaged a hospital in Wellington, the building has been centre stage for the North Island ski industry's best hospitality.
There are few setbacks to indulging in such comfort, although extending the craft beer selection beyond the DB-owned Monteith's range would be welcome. This writer craved an Emerson's 1812, Epic Pale Ale or Hallertau No. 2 to get his evening's innings off the mark.
Elsewhere, the library selection could be spruced up.
More classic novels and less encyclopedia on flora and fauna would be a start, although decent literature is always at risk of "accidentally" ending up in guest luggage.
However, in the Ruapehu Lounge's defence, consuming a selection of Sunday papers with morning tea as the sun streamed through the eastern windows provided a satisfying final treat before the return journey.
CHECKLIST
Getting there: Chateau Tongariro Hotel is 6km up State Highway 48 in the shadow of Mt Ruapehu and is a 4-hour drive or a 5.45-hour train journey from Auckland.