Dan Carter has admitted to doubts but also excitement as he prepares to return from yet another injury to the All Blacks' No10 jersey against Scotland on Sunday.
"There's been a lot of frustration throughout the year," he said. "There has been doubt that has crept in in certain periods but once you get over that and get back to your plan and goals that you're working towards you are a lot more focused on what needs to be done and for me to get back in this position where I'm able to play for the All Blacks is a great challenge for me but it's just a start. I'm not finished or happy with where I'm at, it's just an opportunity to continue to grow.
"[You have] all sorts of doubts with your body when you've had injuries like I've had," he said. "In your darkest times you question whether you'll get a chance to put the jersey on again but it's not a major one. It's [about] my body and things like that. It's normally straight after the injury but you soon get out of that hole.
All Blacks v Scotland - Slade given surprising opportunity
"There's a lot of excitement about starting this weekend. It has been almost 12 months since I last started for the All Blacks. I've talked a lot about what the jersey means to me and to have another opportunity to put the No10 jersey on is exciting. I've thoroughly enjoyed this week; I've had to work hard to get here and I want to make the most of the opportunity."
The All Black alternate white strip is shown in the dressing rooms before a training session at Peffermill. Photo / Getty Images
Carter's last start for the All Blacks was almost exactly 12 months ago, when he took the field against England at Twickenham for his 100th test.
McCaw's blindside shift just for now - Hansen
He soon limped off with an Achilles injury and more problems came when he broke his leg while playing for the Crusaders in the Super Rugby final against the Waratahs.
Nerve damaged followed, but after 30 minutes against the USA and a fortnight of good preparation in the United Kingdom, he is back at last. The All Blacks, with Carter calling the shots, put in a physical training session today ahead of their test at Murrayfield.