Review - The Bitches’ Box: ‘I howled with laughter’

The Bitches' Box comedy show is the brainchild of actresses Emma Newborn and Amelia Dunbar.

Kem Ormond is a features writer for NZME community newspapers and The Country. She’s also a keen gardener.

REVIEW: Last Friday night I headed to Macnab Domain Hall at Upokongaro, on the outskirts of Whanganui. I had my tickets in hand, and I was off to see The Bitches’ Box.

For anyone who doesn’t know about this comedy show, it is a series of fast-paced, multi-character comedy shows, written and performed by Amelia Dunbar and Emma Newborn and based on the humble farm dog, including the huntaway, heading and duck shooting dog.

The Ruapehu and Whanganui Rural Support Trust brought this show to Whanganui. It was a chance for farmers and their staff to get together with neighbouring farmers, have a good laugh and enjoy local hospitality.

I thought I would arrive at the hall early as to get a good seat, but on arrival, the parking paddock was already half full, and the locals were keen. I could smell the barbecue was under way and could hear the chatter emulating from inside the hall.

While some of the locals manned the bar, others were cooking the barbecue and getting everything ready for what was going to be a good night. I asked for my usual pinot gris, only to receive a pinot noir which made me laugh.

Even though there were plenty of winter coats and boots, hats and beanies, the hall was warm, and the fire was roaring. The hall was rather smart for a country hall and believe me I have been in quite a few on the verge of retirement.

The one thing that stood out for me was there were very few mobile phones being used, they were all tucked away, and everyone was happy to be catching up with each other. The local MP Carl Bates was even in attendance in his bright blue Swandri!

Sponsors had supplied the evening meal and what rural person doesn’t like a well-stacked beef burger? They were delicious.

The show started with Dunbar and Newborn dressed as sheep and as the show progressed, they changed from testosterone-filled male dogs in their rugby jerseys and shorts to female dogs in party dresses, including Tina the mother dog with very saggy breasts and of course the slightly toffee-nosed duck shooting dog.

On stage, there was a leafy-looking structure and that was where the human dogs did their change of dog characters. The 12 years of doing their shows made each change of character, quick, slick, and well-orchestrated. Combined with a well-known country-themed tune and a great orator, the show takes you through a dog’s day on the farm.

Having come off a farm and having had many dogs, I could relate to every one of the dog characters on stage. Dunbar and Newborn had each dog character worked out to a tee from the dog that has to be chained on the back of the ute because of their behaviour to the one that bounces around skiting they don’t have to be chained up, to the altercations that dogs have with each other to dealing with dogs on heat!

Emma Newborn and Amelia Dunbar in The Bitches' Box.

The one that I really enjoyed was the duck shooting dog that finds the bacon and egg pie in the maimai … I won’t do a spoiler as to what happens, but I am sure you can imagine, and there would be plenty of people who have had a dog like that!

The show lasted an hour, and it was the best hour of laughing I have had in a long time. These two women are talented and funny and their show was like a breath of fresh air, original and something all dog owners could relate to.

The following morning, I was lucky enough to have breakfast with Dunbar and Newborn and hear about all the exciting new projects they have on the go and are working towards. These two still have a lot to offer and if you think their Bitches’ Box shows are funny keep following them, there is a lot more in the pipeline!