Opinion: The mystery of the missing plums

Brenda Vowden, Communities reporter at Hawke's Bay Today.

Who stole my plums? That's what I'd like to know. And why didn't you just ask?

That's what people do - have a few manners. Open the gate, go to the door and knock.

"Hello there. I'm just passing and notice you have a lot of plums. I'm wondering if you'd mind me picking a few for my poor family. I'll make some jam/pickle and bring you a jar."

No - too easy. That didn't happen. Whoever nicked the whole tree full of ripe, juicy plums - in broad daylight I might add - did not bother to use their manners.

I say broad daylight for a couple of Sherlock Holmes-esk reasons. If the robbery took place under cover of darkness, firstly the porch light would have come on and secondly, they would have undoubtedly dropped a few and not been able to see them.

Hence when I noticed the naked tree, I would have also noticed a few fallen ones scattered on the ground. Perhaps the odd pip, or even the half-chewed remains of one.

But again, no, not one single plum, pip or piece of purple skin did I see. Every single plum vamoosed, along with the perp. Not a trace.

It's a mystery. I have plenty of questions, but not too many answers.

Firstly, of course, why? They weren't even the flashest of plums. A stray sapling type affair gifted to me by a kind person. That's what kind people do. They give - not take.

And how? For a starter, the gate squeaks. And it has a tricky mechanism to open it in the first place.

Did the container used for the collection offer a soft landing pad to negate the noise of the falling crop? Or did they know we were not home and helped themselves with gay abandon - the sound of plopping plums not a problem.

Or perhaps I have it all wrong. It was indeed a kind person, I may even know them.

Any day now they will come knocking at the door with a basket over their arm. With a red and white gingham cloth casually draping over the sides, jars with matching cloth lids rubber banded to the tops, insides bulging with delicious plum-related produce.

Yes, that's it. I'm still waiting.