Glenn Dwight: When’s the right time to put up your Christmas decorations?

Is November too early for this guy? Photo / 123rf

I’ve often been accused of being a bit of a Grinch when it comes to Christmas decorations.

But let me set the record straight. I love Christmas.

I’m also the first to admit that Die Hard is, indeed, a Christmas movie.

The tricky part isn’t whether I enjoy the festive season; it’s deciding when to actually put up the decorations.

That’s a question even John McClane might struggle with.

It’s the dilemma that haunts living rooms and families across New Zealand as the year winds down.

Do you wait until December 1? Or do you grab the decorations on a Boxing Day sale and enjoy a belated Christmas? Or do you sneak a few fairy lights on during spring just to confuse the neighbours?

There is no official “Christmas decorations start” date.

Nobody at the Department of Festive Affairs (if such a department existed) sends out a Santa advertising campaign version of the voting orange man to remind us it’s time to hang the tinsel.

You might imagine him marching down the street with a sign that reads “Hope and Christmas”.

So, you have both the freedom and the burden of choice. You get to decide when your tinsel, lights and baubles go up.

That freedom can also feel a bit terrifying.

On one end of the spectrum, there are those who start decorating before Halloween, untangling fairy lights while everyone else is carving pumpkins.

On the other end, there are those who think they might have missed a trick and a treat as they hurriedly decorate while the Christmas pav cools.

Some people like to get a head start and put up decorations in November.

The logic is simple. December gets busy.

End-of-year work events, school concerts, family gatherings, and that awkward HR visit after the office Christmas party photocopier incident, it all hits at once.

Get the lights up early, dust off the ornaments, and suddenly you’re living the festive life before anyone else.

The upside is obvious: more days to enjoy the glow of your tree, more nights of “ah, yes, this is Christmas” while everyone else is still hunting for parking at the mall.

The downside? By the time Christmas rolls around, the tree can start looking like those leftovers in the Tupperware container at the back of the fridge, well past their best-before date.

The unofficial rule, much like “one hand, one bounce” in backyard cricket, is to start decorating around December 1.

This timing hits the sweet spot.

Neighbours are stringing up their lights, the local mall has Santa’s grotto in full swing, and everyone’s officially in the Christmas mood, except those who think Die Hard is just an action film.

It’s a nice rhythm, and your ears don’t have to endure too much punishment from Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas Is You on repeat, at least not until the supermarkets turn the volume up to festive panic levels.

Because while Die Hard is the only true Christmas movie, Snoopy’s Christmas is the only true Christmas song.

So, what’s the “right” time?

Honestly, it’s any time that works for you. But maybe keep Christmas burnout in mind.

You don’t want to peak too soon and find yourself over it all by Christmas Day, the carols, the candy canes, the endless replays of Love Actually, and the realisation that you’ve eaten your body weight in fruit mince pies before the 20th.

Maybe you’ve run out of wrapping paper, burnt through your annual leave, or realised the solar lights you proudly strung up in October have already faded to a dull glow.

By the time the big day arrives, even the sight of tinsel can bring on a nervous twitch.

As a rough guide, maybe apply The Castle rule: it’s not about when you put them up, it’s about the vibe.

If it feels too soon, tell your significant other they’re dreaming and retire to the pool room, where you can hit play on Big Mouth Billy Bass and let him take you to the river.

Oh, the serenity.

And if anyone calls you a Grinch for waiting a bit longer, just smile, sip the beer you left out for Santa, and take a bite out of Rudolph’s carrot.

Yippee ki yay Christmas.