From the Lip: Agricultural Acronyms with Jamie Mackay

All together now: Shanghai plus Exit equals - SHEXIT

A Beginner's Guide to AG ACRONYMS:

BREXIT: The most used acronym in the world in the past few weeks, though strictly speaking it's a portmanteau word rather than an acronym. It stands for British Exit from the EU and it means bad news for New Zealand, unless you're planning a pint in a London pub.

UK and EU: Places we used to trade with BB (Before Brexit).

SHEXIT: Short for a Shanghai Maling exit from the Silver Fern Farms deal. The plot thickens?

SHITE: Stands for what the Brits have found themselves in and for what Winston Peters is stirring with great vigour.

OMG: This is a greeting normally reserved for Winston at Grey Power meetings.

SFF: The artist formerly known as PPCS is now Silver Fern Farms and it has a wily old Silver Fox, Winston, on its case.

GDT: This is a fortnightly occurrence that depresses dairy farmers and their returns.

WMP and SMP: The former is something that goes down with the GDT and the latter is something the Europeans produce too much of.

SMP: As opposed to skim milk powder, this stands for supplementary minimum prices. No one wants to go back to the dark old days of subsidies but I wouldn't mind betting there's the odd cocky out there that would turn a blind eye this year.

OD: Nearly all farmers have one of these.

ANZ, ASB, BNZ, TSB et al: These guys hand out ODs. Only problem is you have to pay them back.

GM and GE: This is stuff that, if used correctly, could help feed a starving world. What's so wrong with golden rice?

CRISPR: Stands for Clustered Regularly Interspaced Short Palindromic Repeats. Bet you didn't know that?

OCD: Contrary to popular belief this does not stand for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Rather it refers to Open Country Dairy, a company that causes Fonterra some disorder by obsessively and compulsively picking the eyes out of the latter's milk run.

LOL: Stands for laugh out loud. That's what Theo does when he thinks of his salary.

IRD: Modern day Robin Hoods. Rob from the rich to give to the poor. I'm fine with that. I just wish they'd take less than two hours to answer a phone call.

ACC: On one hand they give but if often costs you an arm and a leg. Plus they send out the most complex invoices known to mankind. It's also known as stealth by confusion.

AGMARDT: This is an acronym that causes farmers all sorts of confusion because no one really knows what it does?

LIC: This is short for 'Likes Inseminating Cows'. Up against some stern sperm opposition this season in the form of a good old fashioned bull.

FMG: This is a company that sponsors a wonderful competition to find the best young farmer in the land.

TVNZ: This is a company that is televising the aforementioned competition eight days after the event. Shame on you! What sort of half-arsed SOE and SOB are you?

BFEA: Some really cool Awards about the environment.

NZDIA: Some really cool Awards about the dairy industry.

B+LNZ: These guys run some really cool Awards for the sheep industry.

MILF: I think this one has something to do with the dairy industry? Or is it Fergie's (of Black Eyed Peas fame) new music video "Mums I'd like to follow"?

JAFA: A person who spends half their life stuck in traffic and a lifetime-and-a-half paying off their house. Be thankful you're not one. Ever thought of moving to Kaitangata?