So, Frankie's going to Hollywood. No, not the 80s Brit band. The Shorty St actress-turned-celebrity boxer: Frankie Adams. She is leaving Ferndale for the bright lights of Los Angeles. Or at least a pal's couch somewhere in LA.
Cracking Hollywood for a young actress can be tough. There's the job rejections. The never-ending pilot season auditions hoping for your big telly break. The return to your homeland when your credit card is maxed out and your funds have dried up. Just ask Keisha.
Adams, 20, is joining the gaggle of working thesps who left New Zealand with burning ambition hoping to make it in Hollywood. There's Fleur Saville, Anna Hutchison, Ari Boyland, Zoe Bell, Claire Chitham, David de Latour, Rose McIver, Karl Urban, Melanie Lynskey, Martin Henderson, to name but a few.
So, what can Frankie expect? Here's our quick guide to surviving LA.
1. Get like Gwen
Start with the juice cleanse. Detox is soooo LA. A heathy body is a healthy mind. Coconut water, cupping, cabbage soup diet - you name it, you'll do it. Of course, removing the toxins from your body might seem couter intuitive to filling your face with Botulinum toxin, which is an LA rite of passage. Go figure.
2. The two Y's
Yoga and yoghurt. Essential to living on the West Coast. That, and weed.
3. Spiritualism
Our Rach, a longtime resident of the City of Angels, is a big fan of crystals. She's also a qualified witch (thanks to a three-day Witchcraft II workshop in Salem, Massachusetts circa 2012). Healing your inner chakra may sound like wacky talk. But not to Los Angeleans. Where the cult of Scientology has complexes as big as hospitals.
4. Forget the brolly
LA is perpetually sunny - there are no seasons. Only smog. And that won't stop you channelling Cher and hitting the waves.
5. Getting around
Whether you're stuck on the 405 in your Toyota Prius, or heading to In-N-Out for essential fried food at 1am, you'll be spending your hard-earned money on gas. It's a given.
6. Things to do
There's so much to do in and around LA, from running into a Kardashian or Jenner. They're everywhere. Or hiking at Runyon Canyon where the views are incredible. Coachella, Burning Man and Disneyland will probably beckon, and you'll probably want to be under the influence. Taking in a screening at the Hollywood Forever Cemetary is a must. As is hitting the beach, or doing a road trip to Vegas. The scenic route of the Silverado Trail in California is wine-making country - bike riding, if you're Sir Michael Fay.
8. The shake
No, not a spiked milkshake at BLD on Beverly Boulevard. The big one. The rock'n'roll. The earthquake that will hit and force you to take cover under your IKEA furniture. Everyone in LA is an amateur seismologist.
9. Therapy
Everyone has a therapist in LA. They're more prevalent than herpes.
10. Working from home
Remember: before you can earn your star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, you'll need to earn your stripes in the biz. That means taking jobs and working hard - even if it's from your bed.
- nzherald.co.nz