My first job was ... sweeping the leaves outside CBS Bank in Christchurch when I was a teenager. I got paid $10 a week, so $40 a month, which I saved to spend on either McDonald's, which I would eat when bunking class with Marlon Williams (can you believe that's a real story?) or on Smirnoff Ices for the ONE party I was invited to a month.
It taught me … some jobs are not worth the money.
My big break came … when I got my first acting gig working with Sophie Roberts (of Silo Theatre fame) on the Christmas Show at the Bats Theatre in Wellington. I played a View-Master who was truly crazed. I think Sophie enjoyed/was scared of my strange offers and quickly become my theatre godmother. Then Hudson and Halls Live happened.
The last job I quit was … I never really quit jobs ... I just sort of slowly say I'm not available and then cut off communication. I guess you could call that ghosting. Technically, then, I still work at Orphans Kitchen, Design Warehouse in Parnell and Roxy Cafe in Wellington,
The most famous person I've ever met is … Justin Bieber in the studio at Jono and Ben. He, of his own volition, did a pull-up on the stairs. And it's my only memory after four years working on that show.
He was ... It was right before he covered his body in a million tattoos. I can't imagine what that life must be like, no one really talks to him on his level, he's just constantly doing interviews. He's more of a brand than he is a living human being. But also, congrats on the wedding, Justin!
The best time I've had on stage was … every Friday night at the Basement Theatre, where I do a late-night improv comedy show called Snort. Filled with the most talented comedians, who are also my best friends, it's the most fun I've ever had on stage. The best bit is I've being doing it for six years and we're not going anywhere, so may the good times roll on.
But the worst was … I'm never not enjoying myself on stage. It's literally all I want to do in my life. If you ever see me onstage, you can relax, knowing there is literally no place in the world I'd rather be. I'm a real show-off.
My dream role would be … Okay, I see that a David Bain TV drama is being made, so I'm going to say this out loud now to make it happen. I'd make a perfect David Bain and I need the work. Once you see it, you can't un-see it. Let's make it happen people.
• Chris Parker guests on Have You Been Paying Attention? Available on TVNZ OnDemand and returns to TVNZ 2 next Wednesday.