I was starting to like my orc rivals. Their endearing threats and colourful language before we faced off made our fights seem almost friendly, like we would end our bloody battle and drink mugs of mead with each other afterwards.
The option to enslave, rather than befriend, my rivals put me off Middle Earth: Shadow of War, the sequel to Shadow of Mordor, one of 2014's best games.
Shadow of War might be the first time I've seen orcs cast in such a cool light, which makes waging an unending genocide on their entire kind while humiliating and enslaving them that much more awful.
I can't help but think about the families that Skak the Pickler and Dush the Obsessed left behind.
Yes, the orcs might have started it, they might hate us "pinkskins" too, but Shadow of War's reduction of them to a level unworthy of life is confronting when they are so central to the game.
Gameplay-wise, the Batman-style combat is highly functional, if a little dated. Movement feels great, allowing the player to run unimpeded across the map, unless you get caught on a strangely angled jump.
The open-world elements are great, allowing the player a good deal of freedom to explore beautifully rendered areas.
The story's decent, too. I didn't get all the way through so reserve full judgement. The sultry spider queen villain-friend is well done and Gollum makes a welcome appearance.
While it may be true to Tolkien lore for orcs to be subhuman and worthy of extermination, I can't get behind it. Next time let me play as an orc.
Middle Earth: Shadow of War
Stars: Two
Platforms: Playstation 4, Xbox One, PC
Rating: R13: Violence and horror scenes
Verdict: War is still hell