About 10 years ago, I was invited to meet Prince William over a pint of cider in a pub near Highgrove, his Gloucestershire home. The Prince of Wales' PR man, Paddy Harverson, took the view that if journalists could meet people in the public eye, like William, face to face, they would be more forgiving in their judgment of them.
And he was dead right. Five minutes in someone's company gives one a very good idea of what they are really like -- and shows that even the most self-assured of individuals are made of the same vulnerable flesh and blood as the rest of us. Of course, one can be woefully wrong in that snap judgment, but not as wrong as when seeing that person solely though someone else's eyes.
Prince Harry, who turns 30 today, is a prime example. When he was a child, when his mother died and he walked so bravely behind her cortege, we took him to our hearts. But then the endearing, lost little boy grew up. He became the wild child. He drank excessively, and underage, he dabbled in drugs, he dressed up in a Nazi uniform. He idled his time away in nightclubs where a bottle of champagne cost more than most people earned in a week. He was troubled, he was out of control.
Then he had some dazzlingly good moments - such as during the Queen's Diamond Jubilee tour, when he suddenly became the royal family's "secret weapon", hugging the republican Prime Minister of Jamaica and "beating" the world's fastest runner, Usain Bolt, in a spoof race. He officiated at the closing ceremony of the Olympic Games alongside the Duchess of Cambridge, and then, just as it seemed he had reinvented himself, he was photographed stark naked in an expensive Las Vegas hotel room playing strip billiards with a bunch of women he had only just met.
Then he was a hero again, fighting for Queen and country in Afghanistan -- and blew it all with a few throwaway remarks about killing the enemy, and suggesting that his skill at computer games had prepared him for firing the weapons in his $90 million Apache attack helicopter.
But the Harry I have come to know in the past few years is very different. Parts of the story, of course, are true, but they haven't always been told in the most truthful way.
For example, the Prince was about to be deployed to Afghanistan when he was vilified for his moment of madness in Las Vegas. He was not only about to put his life on the line, but to see and do terrible things that most of us couldn't stomach. Drinking himself silly with a bunch of pretty women was no more or less than any unattached soldier might do.
Prince Harry congratulates a NZ wheelchair basketball player after the match against the US match. Photo / Getty Images
Yes, he said playing computer games had helped him as an Apache co-pilot gunner. I have sat in the front seat of an Apache, where Harry used to sit, and the weapons console looks very like an Xbox and works in much the same way. As for admitting he had killed Taleban insurgents, what did we think he and every other soldier we sent to Afghanistan was doing?
The Invictus Games -- his Invictus Games -- which closed yesterday, are a taste of what the real Harry is all about. He was the driving force behind this mini-Olympics for wounded servicemen and women. These games allowed more than 400 wounded athletes from 13 countries to prove that there can be meaningful life after injury.
If I had to put into a nutshell what I have learned about Prince Harry, I would say that he is brilliant and dangerous. He is a natural leader: he is decisive, empathetic, charismatic, funny, charming, sweet, loving and scrupulously polite; but he's capable of behaving like an idiot.
As he says himself, he's a child at heart and a rebel. But don't we all love a rebel?
NZ's wounded warriors mix it with top brass
Some of New Zealand's wounded warriors mingled with Britain and America's top brass at the Invictus Games in London at the weekend.
Prince Harry and US second lady Jill Biden were on hand to congratulate players after the wheelchair basketball match between New Zealand and the US at Olympic Park on Saturday. The US won the match 14-5.
The games, which closed yesterday, involved more than 400 wounded, injured and ill servicemen and women from 13 countries. They were instigated and supported by the Royal Foundation of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Prince Harry, and the British Ministry of Defence.
*Prince Harry: Brother, Soldier, Son by Penny Junor (Hodder & Stoughton)