The Golden Goose: Farmer's poem for Jacinda Ardern

The Howl of a Protest in Queen Street, Auckland. Photo / Greg Bowker

Opinion: Inspired by the Howl of a Protest last week and concerned with government regulations on the rural sector, East Coast farmer and bush poet Graeme Williams has put pen to paper in a plea to Jacinda Ardern to look out for farmers. He shared his poem, The Golden Goose, with The Country today.

The Golden Goose, by Graeme Williams

Dear Aunty Jacinda,
A moment if I may,
A response I think is needed,
To the protest the other day.

Farmers are generally too busy,
To rally and cause a stink,
But their overwhelming response,
Must have made you stop and think.

You see, thinking has been lacking,
in your policies I suggest.
Possibly economic incompetence,
and bureaucratic bullshit at its best.

Your policies are from fairyland,
Hindering what the farmers they produce.
I struggle with the economic logic,
Of screwing the Golden Goose.

You see New Zealand has been founded,
On the farmers and the land.
Farming and economic strength,
Symbiotically go hand in hand.

Listen to Graeme Williams recite The Golden Goose for Jamie Mackay on The Country below:

The reason isn't rocket science.
Be it vege, milk or meat.
Irrespective of the daily grind,
All the people they must eat.

As we saw in Covid,
Panic buying to the fore,
Wonder what you'll eat next time,
When farmers can't be farmers anymore.

Choked by impractical bureaucracy,
They all have had enough.
Supermarkets full of humble pie,
Hmmm...the menu could be rough.

A majority of farmers,
Are a cut above the rest.
They understand the logic,
Of not shitting in one's nest.

The bar is constantly rising,
By peering over the fence.
Labour, I suggest, should peer as well,
And view some common sense.

Labour in a literal sense,
Used to mean grafting in a role.
Labour in a current sense,
Means top pay on the dole.

Screwing the diligent workforce,
The productive and the hearty.
Sending the country down the gurgler,
Thanks to Jacinda's "Labourless" party.

The protest by diligent farmers,
For the country shouldn't shock,
They nurture and protect the land,
Infinitely better than Labour does with DoC.

Instead of crippling progressive farmers,
and dictating them with force,
I suggest leading the charge by example,
And controlling DoC's broom and gorse.

So cheers to Laurie Paterson,
And Bryce McKenzie in the South.
You did what needed doing,
Giving the cause the focus and the mouth.

The Golden Goose is farming,
And common sense there needs to be,
Otherwise the goose and country's completely plucked,
But spelled with an "F" and not a "P".