Opinion: Community halls - why we must save them

A historic and well-loved community hall near Taipa. Photo / Far North District Council

OPINION

Glenn Dwight argues the case for an icon that is the beating heart of rural districts.

Ah, the sharing shed - I’m not talking about those red corrugated iron kiwi icons, no, I’m talking about the community town hall.

A place where stories are shared, laughter is shared, ideas are shared, and maybe a sneaky pash behind the hall is shared at Megan Johnson’s 21st … let’s just say there is a lot of sharing.

And this is why it’s important to protect these community icons from decay or worse - rich townies gee’d up by Kevin McCloud and his grand design DVD box set - who want to convert them into elaborate Airbnbs; complete with outdoor bathtubs - designed not for practical bathing purposes - but for Onsen Hot Pools Instagram likes and butt pics.

And, given we have just had an election, let’s not forget the importance of the community hall in the power of change.

It’s where ideas can be debated, and every three years we can vote for change.

So here is the issue with losing our local community halls.

If they go or are forgotten, we risk losing more than just a building.

We risk losing a connection with each other. A hub. A home.

A place where the community can get together to bitch about the community.

And if I am completely honest, if we lose our community halls, there is a risk that we lose the recorder recital from the under 7s.

And no one wants to go cochlea-deep with that group and their devil instruments outside the safety of a hall and its natural reverb.

But what makes these New Zealand community buildings so great? Worth protecting like the Kiwi and that old ‘69 Holden you are protecting from the wreckers by offering it sanctuary in your shed?

Let’s start with some town hall essentials … nothing is more essential to the community hall than the Arcoroc cup collection.

Arcoroc mugs are an integral part of community halls.

These amazingly versatile vessels can hold everything from a white tea with two to a sneaky gin.

Throw into the vessel mix a couple of old New Zealand Railway Cups (if they haven’t been stolen and placed on Trade Me at an exorbitant price) and you have the complete and perfect cup collection.

A natural and harmonious extension of the Arcoroc cup is the Zip.

When you see this LPG cylinder-inspired shape on the wall you know the hot drinks will flow at the end of any event and the dishes will be done to Karen’s exacting standards.

You can also be assured that the water will be close to magma temperatures.

This is a nice segue to committee Karen.

Yes, in recent times Karens have come under attack for their standards and attention to those standards.

But without Karen from the committee would the lawns get mowed, the tables stacked correctly (no more than five high) and would Bob know that his hall deposit is due on the 15th? No!

This one might be more for the men, but the purple urinal lolly is also a community hall must.

While the naming of this fragrant delight might miss the mark, these little targets ensure the men using this stainless steel gather point are kept on the straight and narrow, all while battling the evils of stale urine odour.

No clever segue here, but next on this list, is the holder of lists, the protector of information, and the notice board.

And because the noticeboard is Karen’s jurisdiction (an issue that was brought up at the last committee meeting agenda item 56) the noticeboard is more a time capsule of the great events that have been, than an up-to-date information provider - so it still proudly displays the posters for the Eagles covers band that played in 2003.

So, while a lot must change for progress, I say the one foundation of the community should be its hall.

Except maybe the urinal lollies, they might be due for a change and a heavy crop dusting of Glen 20.

- Glenn Dwight is the creative director - regional at NZME.