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Home / The Country

Kem Ormond: Talking turkey on the farm

By Kem Ormond
Hawkes Bay Today·
15 Oct, 2017 02:56 AM4 mins to read

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Kem Ormond

Kem Ormond

I've just planted a selection of fruit trees.

Well actually, I used a gardener from down the road, but I did choose the trees and then had to manoeuvre them into my rather small car.

That is no mean feat, while still trying to keep the top of the tree intact and avoid dirt in all directions.

I'm interested in utilising my small acreage to produce a selection of fruit for my jams and jellies while at the same time encouraging some of the local wildlife to keep the undergrowth clean and tidy.

I don't mind visitors of the wildlife variety, so long as they respect and abide by my rules.

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I couldn't help but smile when I saw 20-odd topknots darting across the lawn and by topknots I mean quail.

I have never seen so many together at one time. I think they have decided that living alongside my non-active and rather petite cat is quite a good life.

Speaking of my cat, she thinks her sole aim in life is to be well groomed, look good and that keeping the rodent population down doesn't exist in her job description.

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She's the type of cat that would paint her own nails given half a chance.

Unfortunately I can't say the same for the wild turkeys who think that it's fair sport climbing to the top of my young crabapple tree when consuming the last of its fruit.

Watching the huge bend in the top branch infuriates me and even when armed with my broom in hand they still manage to escape my clutches. I have replaced this tree twice and come summer when laden with red juicy crabapples, I will have my security camera firmly on the lookout for any large grey feathered gobblers.

Then there are the neighbour's sheep who manage to take a flying leap over my very wide and extremely large cattle stop. How do they do It?

Arriving home one night, these sheep had managed to once again jump the cattle stop.

My reaction was to give them a couple of laps around the drive while still in the car driving like a madwoman, lights flashing, horn blaring.

And guess what? Those sheep with their ballet style grand jete , flew over that cattle stop and down the road. If nothing else I felt so much better.

I only hope that none of my neighbours saw the performance. I live down the road from a couple of doctors and I would hate them to mention to any of their colleagues about this erratic behaviour by their usually quiet neighbour.

The rabbits make burrows in my lawn, the pukekos pull out any daisy I try to plant, the magpies have taken to pulling out tufts of grass to find any worm lurking in my lawn and I have been visited by wild goats that managed to eat their way around my garden thinking that I had especially arranged a smorgasbord dinner just for them.

I don't think they quite realise that the stile was made for my ease of climbing over the fence, not for their convenience. And how can two goats eat so much in just a matter of a couple of hours?

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I sometimes sit outside listening to the ducks fly overhead and think, would I change any of this?

Well, when it comes to the goats, all I can say is a good curry may be coming. But in the evening when it's dusk and those little topknots are running around on the lawn while being carefully watched by the non-active cat, I can look past the visits from the other wildlife visitors.

Maybe not those turkeys. Sorry must go, where is my broom?

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