From the Lip: Pokémon NO. A message for the youth of today

Jamie Mackay tries desperately not to notice a rare Pikachu on The Country.

I'm old school when it comes to work. I guess it's because of the Presbyterian work ethic that was thrashed into me by my Catholic parents.

You go to work to work. I'm never one for meaningless conversations or gossip over the water cooler. Even though I work with some of my best mates, during office hours you could probably count the number of minutes I waste with frivolous pursuits during a day on the fingers of one hand.

I only occasionally relent when it comes to recreational pursuits that take my fancy. I can spend a tortured few minutes analysing aloud to anyone in earshot where my golf round went wrong in the weekend. I'm also prone to correcting the errors of Steve Hansen, although the latter are few and far between these days.

I also enjoy occasionally preaching to work colleagues about the virtues of physical fitness. The main target of these ear bashings is my long-suffering producer Dom Boy George. Rural raconteur Jim Hopkins once cruelly referred to him as Humpty Dumpty's love child, and while he could be generously described as well-built, he does vehemently claim to maintain a good level of physical fitness.

However that level of fitness does not extend to joining The Country's 1pm 'Running Club'. Initially set up as a prequel and a means of justification for the 'Pilsner Club', the Running Club gathers twice a week for a 10km jog past Dunedin's Forsyth Barr Stadium and along the picturesque harbour-side track out to Port Chalmers.

Initially the Running Club had a membership of five. This has subsequently fallen to an apathetic and pathetic muster of just two. Contrast that to Pilsner Club which also gathers twice a week at 5pm on afternoons following the Running Club. It started with the five original members of the Running Club but its ranks have swelled to near double digits. Funny that.

I mention all of this because last week after a Running Club outing, and on my way to the 5pm Pilsner Club gathering, I righteously came across a group of youngsters who really made me feel old, and for once I thanked the Good Lord for the ageing process.

There were upward of 20 of them in a dinky little side street I use as a short cut to the Pilsner Club. They were glued to their mobile devices and wandering around in a daze, occasionally bumping into one another. I thought I'd discovered some sort of cult. Indeed I had, as one of the disciples briefly explained as he lifted his head momentarily from his device. They were playing Pokémon Go.

To all of you over the age of 30, let me explain how Pokémon Go works, as explained to me by Green Party co-leader James Shaw. Apparently it's like exercise for gamers. You go in search of some mythical digital creature which is superimposed over the map on your phone. Gamers say it's the ultimate in interactive activity. And I thought going for a run and yarning to your mate filled that void!

All of which got me thinking about how old and un-hip I've become. I'm sure that in my angst-ridden, insecure teenage years I'd have succumbed to peer pressure and joined the digital device revolution that is Pokémon Go, just so I fitted in. Thank God I've aged ungraciously and just don't care for that sheepish behaviour any more.

So in summary, fellow old fogeys, you know you're old when:

# You have no desire to play Pokémon Go, rather you would prefer to spend four hours trying to get an errant little white ball into 18 deceptively small holes on a golf course. You then prefer to spend the next two hours in the clubhouse analysing why you failed so miserably at the aforementioned task. I wonder if gamers suffer such angst?

# You frown upon the impracticality of scantily-clad young women (the age of your daughter) dressed for a night on the town in sub-zero Antipodean conditions, where once you would have applauded, lauded and even chased them!

# You can remember the score of the 1967 All Blacks game against East Wales but struggle to remember the name of someone you've just been introduced to.

# You can remember the last time there was a good dairy payout and when lambs were worth more than $100.

# You can remember interest rates in excess of 20%, when the new normal would appear to be on the south side of 5%.

# You can remember Keith Holyoake, Norm Kirk, Rob Muldoon and Rogernomics.

# You can remember the Wahine and Erebus disasters.

# You can remember when a house cost under $100,000 and a farm less than $500,000.

# You can remember when you got four wine gums for one cent and when wine came from a cask.

# You can remember a simpler, less complicated, less hectic world.

I really am getting old!