A farmer’s push for rural mental health: ‘It’s okay to cry’

Hawke’s Bay farmer Matt Holden has become a champion for spreading awareness about mental health among the rural community, and he wants to use his experience to help others.

At his recent event, Mates of Mates for Mates, around 300 people got together to work to normalise conversations about mental health in the rural sector and raise awareness of the work being done by the Rural Support Trust (RST).

Holden has worked closely with RST and aims to take his initiative, which was born out of a 25-day press-up challenge in 2020, nationwide and hold an event in each of the 14 RST locations.

He also has plans for the summer of 2025 to host a sunrise-to-sundown cricket tournament in a bid to get farmers off the farm and to help them understand they are not alone.

But behind the well-composed man is someone who has faced his own mental health struggles, having battled with depression and anxiety.

In 2018, Holden knew something was wrong. He didn’t feel himself and was stuck in a cycle of feeling less than great.

“I’m a reasonably high-energy person, and when I couldn’t get out of bed, I thought, ‘This is not me’.”

With the support of his wife Emma, he found help with an Australian dietitian and was able to kick-start his wellness journey.

“It saddens me to think I used to think like that,” he said.

A big part of Holden’s road to recovery was to take a close look at his life, and with a business restructure, he was able to relieve some of the pressures that were impacting his health.

“A friend of mine once said 20 years ago that he works to live, he doesn’t live to work, and I think it’s all about that work-life balance,” he said.

With the support of his family, and a change in mindset, Matt Holden was able to get back to being himself. Photo / Paul Taylor

Another important factor for Holden was changing his mindset.

“We set the bar too high,” he says - having goals that are small but achievable is key.

“What you don’t get done today, you can do tomorrow.”

He said the strain placed on farmers from Cyclone Gabrielle was “soul destroying” so there is no better time than now to normalise mental health conversations.

“It’s okay to cry - it’s not a crime,” he said.

He wants farmers to know there is support out there, and it is often only one phone call or conversation with a mate away.

Where to get help:

• Rural Support Trust - 0800 787 254.
• Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor.
• The Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757 or free text 4202 (to talk to a trained counsellor about how you are feeling or to ask any questions).
• Rural Women New Zealand - 0800 256 467.

Michaela Gower joined Hawke’s Bay Today in 2023 and is based out of the Hastings newsroom. She covers Dannevirke and Hawke’s Bay news and has a love for sharing stories about farming and rural communities.