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Home / Whanganui Chronicle

Better to laugh at Abbott than own elected clowns

By Jay Kuten
Whanganui Chronicle·
22 Oct, 2013 07:16 PM4 mins to read

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Aussie Prime Minister Tony Abbott is defined on the internet by his grand mis-steps.  PHOTO/FILE
Aussie Prime Minister Tony Abbott is defined on the internet by his grand mis-steps. PHOTO/FILE

Aussie Prime Minister Tony Abbott is defined on the internet by his grand mis-steps. PHOTO/FILE

It's fun to be able to laugh at the unintended pratfalls taken by the high and mighty.

Especially those elected or aspiring to the power and privilege of electoral office. The laugh is partly on us when it's about someone we ourselves elected. After all, we elected them. Now look at the fools they're making of themselves and by reflection - us. Which may explain how George W Bush's many gaffes made it to the David Letterman Show's sarcastic Top Ten list of Great Presidential Speeches. At the same time, I can't find anyone among my conservative friends who will admit to having voted for him.

America has had no shortage of politicians who've said or done foolish things. Only a few years ago we had a Vice-President who couldn't spell potato and who upbraided Murphy Brown, a fictitious TV character played by Candace Bergen, for choosing to beget a child out of wedlock. And quite recently vice-presidential aspirant Sarah Palin could see Russia from her backyard - among many other wonderments.

Of course, Kiwis have their own memorable moments. Think of Rodney Hyde's nimble steps on Dancing with the Stars. I keep seeing that cha cha ending with Rodney dropping partner Krystal Stuart. I miss Rodney. All we have now is Gerry Brownlee insulting the country Finland and in turn being bested by Finnish comedian Tuomas Enbuske.

John Banks is still good for a laugh, especially when that martinet look of his gets converted by Kim Dotcom into the traditional deer caught in the headlights as the memory function shuts off. There's always John Key trying to look cool in his various faux populist guises, like dancing gangnam style. Or the fixed smile of Hekia Parata and NoNoPay. Hekia's Maori last name has resonance with a Latin root in preparedness. As if.

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Because this tomfoolery reflects on our own judgment, it's much more fun to enjoy the schadenfreude at expense of our western cousins. There's more to smile about than our good luck in exporting Russell Crowe.

Well, the Aussies did it to themselves. Kicked out Kevin Rudd just as he was picking up steam in defining himself as a man whose tolerance of others' rights is rooted in his Christianity. Instead, they've elected Tony Abbott, who studied for the priesthood and is defined on the internet by his grand mis-steps. For an ostensibly bright guy, Abbott sure manages to sound the very opposite. He attempted to criticise Rudd during the campaign by saying "no one is a suppository of all wisdom". He apparently meant to say "repository" - a storage place, rather than a medication inserted in the rectum. Nor is this the least of Abbott's malapropisms - at least I hope this next example is unintended. In Afghanistan he responded to the death of an Australian soldier with the odious phrase "shit happens," creating a small firestorm of criticism.

At first glance at the new Australian PM you have to take note of his delight in being seen in scant swimming costumes which are called by him and others, "budgie smugglers."

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Now many critics may take issue with the theories of Sigmund Freud but no one has better described or tried to explain the slips of the tongue or sudden convolutions of language that were given their name along with Sheridan's Mrs Malaprop. Freud would have had a field day with Tony Abbott, as the several attention-getting speech behaviours or personal choices reflect a focus on the nether regions.

It may be a little early to speculate how this habit of Abbott's mind may play out politically. He is an avowed conservative despite his party's opposite themed name, the Liberal party - itself a kind of malapropism. Perhaps he'll simply give a new meaning to Australia, Down Under.

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