Prisoner gives police detailed review of his stay in jail

West Midlands Police were amused to find an arrestee had written a review of his 'stay' at the Perry Bar station in Birmingham. Photo: @WMPolice/Twitter

Isn't it lovely when someone takes the time to give you kind feedback?

It's always nice to drop a note to let your host know you enjoyed your stay, whether it's at a hotel or an Airbnb... or in a prison cell, apparently.

West Midlands Police were amused to find a prisoner had written a review of his "stay" at the Perry Bar station in Birmingham.

The prisoner, who was arrested for criminal damage, gave a two-page review of the facility, rating it three out of a possible five stars.

"I was impressed by how modern and clean the building looks," he wrote. "I was dealt with promptly by the custody officer and shown to my cell."

He described the cell as "pleasantly surprising," complimenting its neutral colour scheme, cleanliness and decor.

Our new custody suite in Perry Barr has won praise from an unlikely source − a detainee who’s written a review! pic.twitter.com/3HGggt0gC9

— West Midlands Police (@WMPolice) July 10, 2016

"I did however find a pubic hair near the toilet."

But wait for it.

"On closer inspection the ginger hint of colour and length would probably suggest it was mine. Sorry."

He did criticise their hospitality, saying he was waiting on cups of tea that they didn't deliver to him.

He also said he left feeling "heartbroken" because he thought there was a romance developing between him and a staff woman.

"Why does she call everyone chic?" he wrote. "Admittedly it made me blush at first but then I heard her call the **** next door 'chic'. Needless to say I was broken-hearted, we could have had something special!!!!"

Lastly, he thanked the custody officer for allowing him to write his humble evaluation of the experience.

People responded warmly to the clever post after West Midlands Police tweeted it, praising their sense of humour.

But it looks like the prisoner will need a better cell in future, should he ever be faced with criminal charges again. Perhaps he can try Yelp.