Sonya Bateson: ‘Uniqueness’ is the name of the game

Some parents seek to differentiate their child by giving them a common name but spelling it in a different way, writes Sonya Bateson. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION

We are all unique.

All of us.

The funny thing is, in today’s modern parlance, the word “unique” has lost a bit of its meaning.

Unique, by its dictionary definition, means “the only one of its kind”. Unlike anything else.

Yet people are using the word more and more as a synonym of “different” or “unusual” – particularly when it comes to baby names.

Generations of children are growing up traumatised (yes, I’m being facetious, obviously) from having to share their name with three other Sarahs or Michaels and are refusing to inflict that same pain on their offspring.

So married couple Sarah and Michael, once known to their classmates as Sarah P and Michael Q, are hunting for the elusive quality of “uniqueness” for their wee bun in the oven.

Thus begins their search.

I remember spending hours poring over the tightly-packed pages of baby books with my mother as we hunted for the perfect names for my incoming siblings.

I reckon it’s what inspired me to become what is known on internet forums as a “name nerd” – someone who closely follows naming trends for no other reason than curiosity, and enjoys learning about their etymologies and meanings.

Today, though, parents take to the internet and instead of seeing tightly spaced pages of lists with Linda, Brooke, Craig and Kevin, they’re encouraged to find a baby name like no other.

And so we enter the era of the “unique” baby names.

Where do parents get their inspiration from? I’ve heard stories of people taking to cemeteries to uncover the perfect old-fashioned name, or hunting through their family tree to find a long-abandoned surname they can claim has been handed down the family for generations.

Some parents turn to nature, and thus we are seeing names like Juniper, River, Winter and Wren rise in popularity. Anika Moa, for example, gave birth to a baby girl in 2019 whom she named Marigold. Chelsea Winter has two children, Sky and Sage. Nature at its finest?

Other people look to name registers from 100 years ago or longer, and hence we are seeing a resurgence of babies named Eloise, Eleanor, Oscar and Otis. Maybe they’re not quite in the realm of “unique”, but they’re certainly not Sarah or Michael. Not yet, anyway.

Surnames as first names is another method people are utilising to make their child stand out from the crowd. Last names like Parker, Grayson, Lincoln or Jamieson are making naming lists regularly, appealing to parents who want to be a little different, but want a name that is still recognisably a name.

Others still will seek to differentiate their child by giving them a common name but spelling it in a different way – think changing out some of the letters for an X, Y or Z, adding -leigh to the end, an extra H, or doubling up some consonants.

Thus, we get a class with Jackson, Jaxson, Jhaxyn and Jacksinn. I’ve always wondered how teachers deal with this situation – do Jackson, Jaxson, Jhaxyn and Jacksinn still need an initial when their name is called in class? Or is it “Jaxson with an X”? Teachers, if you’re reading this, please let me know. Name nerds are curious.

This mixing up of letters trend is my particular pet hate. As someone who’s always had to explain how to spell their name (that’s Sonya with a Y, not an I or a J, thank you very much), I can only sympathise with how poor Jackxen must feel.

It’s interesting to see how our hunt for uniqueness has influenced the names of today’s generation of babies.

The most popular last year were Oliver, Noah, Leo, Jack and Luca for boys and Isla, Amelia, Charlotte, Mila and Lily for girls.

But – and it’s a big but – these names are nowhere near as popular as the Sarahs and Michaels of my school days.

In 1987, when both of those names were at their peak, there were 724 Sarahs and 789 Michaels born in New Zealand.

Compare that to the 246 Islas and 274 Olivers born in New Zealand last year. That’s quite a difference, especially given our population has grown by about 1.8 million people in those 35 years.

Go back further in time and even more people were walking around sharing the same name. In 1958, for example, we had 1484 babies named Peter.

Let’s put that in context: There were 1235 Kiwi babies named Oliver, Noah, Leo, Jack and Luca last year – which means the number of babies given the top five boys’ names in 2022 combined didn’t come close to the number of Peters born in 1958.

I find that fascinating. It’s a reflection of our modern culture I reckon – the younger generations are slowly moving away from the traditional ways of doing things and are treading their own paths.

Individuality is prized, as is creativity and, well, uniqueness.

Just remember – we are all unique. And we don’t need to be named Jhacxtynnne to prove it.

Sonya Bateson is a writer, reader, and crafter raising her family in Tauranga. She is a Millennial who enjoys eating avocado on toast, drinking lattes and defying stereotypes. As a sceptic, she reserves the right to change her mind when presented with new evidence.