Shane Morris with his 20 month-old daughter Ever Photo/Stephen Parker
Shane Morris with his 20 month-old daughter Ever Photo/Stephen Parker
Shane Morris admits being a stay-at-home dad is not perceived by everyone as "the manly thing to do".
But the Rotorua dad says the decision to stay at home and look after 20-month-old daughter Ever was the best thing he ever did.
Mr Morris says the toughest thing about becominga stay-at-home parent is accepting he will not be the breadwinner for his family. He and partner Ashleigh French made the decision for Mr Morris to stay at home and look after Ever, when she was 7 months old.
Having been through a difficult time, Mr Morris needed some time out from work and Miss French needed to return to her job as a paediatric nurse, to keep the position.
With Mr Morris at home and Miss French doing shift work, the couple can now enjoy precious family time during the day. Miss French also has two school-aged children who live with the family every second week.
Overcoming the fact he isn't the main provider, Mr Morris now relishes the chance to teach and care for his daughter and says other men are missing out-coming home tired at the end ofaworking day when the household is at its busiest and most stressful.
Shane Morris with his 20 month-old daughter Ever Photo/Stephen Parker
"Now that I see it from the other perspective you miss out on a lot with working all the time," he says. In saying that, Mr Morris says he has sacrificed "a bit of freedom" to stay at home and now has a real appreciation for what stay-at-home parents do.
"When I was working I was a bit expectant of a few things," he says. The couple share the cooking but Mr Morris does the general household chores, including the vacuuming.
"There's a Catch 22 there, because I still do all the outside stuff-mowing the lawn and cutting the edges. "She does a lot of the washing but that's because she's fanatic about it," he joked.
The responsibility of fatherhood has also curbed Mr Morris' social life.
"I don't really drink any more," he says.
He admits being a stay-at-home parent is tougher then anticipated.
"At first I thought, 'Yep, this is pretty cruisey', (but) it gets more and more intense as they start doing more," he says. He also cops a bit of flak from his mates about staying home.
"There's definitely a perception of it that it's not the manly thing to do," he says.
But those who have scoffed at the idea are now jealous of Mr Morris' lifestyle, he says.
"They're the ones that missed out by not doing it." He has a close bond with his daughter and enjoys watching her learn. "You really are having such an input in teaching them. The bond that is there, there's nothing that can top that. It's definitely made us way closer," he says.
Mr Morris says living on one income is a struggle at times and he plans to return to part-time work next year. In the meantime he laughed at the idea of joining mums' groups and says Miss French meets up with other mums and children when she is home and the couple has a lot of friends with children.
There are days when he misses the interaction with adults who work but he made up for it when the opportunity came along.
