For, just like an embarrassing rogue relation with a reckless attitude and cage-fighter strength, New Zealand's weather has caused quite the miniature scandal over the past few weeks.
The community had been warned of his return, as they are every year.
They knew it would be messy but they just couldn't help talking about it.
And oh, did they talk.
There was wind, there was rain, and then - in Uncle Weather's wildest move yet - there was snow.
The nation didn't know what hit it. The media donned its mittens and dove head first into the frosty frenzy. Our screens were white for a week.
But can you blame them? Concrete, collective and immediately, obnoxiously tangible, Weather is everything that makes news. The economy might suck but at least you don't have to shovel it off your driveway.
Like the world's most contagious rash, Uncle Weather and his escapades could not be evaded.
Weather's used to the attention though, in fact he quite likes it.
The best part is, he only has to be himself. Because, unlike us, one of the most curious things about Uncle Weather is that he can never be wrong.
Born without a moral compass, Uncle Weather believes flooding a nation to be as innocent as giving a pansy to a baby. Why bathe immaculately farmed land in UV approved sunlight when you can parch it of all its resources? Uncle Weather is genuine, impartial and completely unmotivated in all his actions.
But that doesn't stop the critics.
Whether it's the headline pitchers, the money makers or the rubbish man, everyone has their own take on the weather and his behaviour. None of these are usually good.
Despite his best efforts to impress, poor Uncle Weather has had it rough for most of his four and a half billion years.
While media fear mongers print page after page of Weather from his most unflattering angle, society rages: "Miserable weather out there," "Nastiest we've had in years!" "Nothing worse than bad weather."
But we are wrong. As the world's most objective entity, weather cannot be bad.
It cannot be good, medium, temperamental or in fact anything other than weather, which it will continue to be regardless of our judgment of it.
So why the acrimony? Ego - In the interests of our ever-important self esteem, the most popular public discourse involves the promotion of things we like and the ruthless denigration of what we deem to be bad.
Constant confirmation of the mass mindset is nice, so nice we pay our fellow humans to tell us what we want to hear.
The most honest of the bunch get given a dangerous amount of alcohol and a slot on reality television, the others get a suit and a place in Parliament. The yarners get the glory while Uncle Weather sits defeated in the corner.
At least, that was the case until last week.
While the snow brought its usual sack of gloom and doom reporting this year, there was a little joy among the loathing.
With every disgruntled retailer there was a snow fight; for every road closure, a 5-year-old tobogganing down the street, for every moan, gripe and whinge there was an overworked weather reporter looking frantically, alarmingly peppy.
For once, we showed Uncle Weather some love.
He laughed, threw on an extra few feet for good measure and, satisfied, went on his way.
He'll be back next year, of course. He always is.
Here's hoping he'll feel a little more welcome.
