Joe Bennett is an author and columnist who writes the weekly A Dog's Life column in Saturday's Northern Advocate.
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![Joe Bennett: From one side of the world to the other](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: From one side of the world to the other
OPINION: After just 13 hours the detritus we had generated was impressive.
![Joe Bennett: There are those who enjoy shopping and those who do not](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: There are those who enjoy shopping and those who do not
OPINION: Shopping is not for everyone
![Joe Bennett: Collectors of a feather could flock together](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Collectors of a feather could flock together
Opinion: I still don’t understand why the people in the auction room applauded.
![Joe Bennett adds plantar fasciitis to his vocabulary](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett adds plantar fasciitis to his vocabulary
Opinion: Joe Bennett got plantar fasciitis after a squash game
![Joe Bennett: I unscrew the cap and immediately I am back in a dressing shed before a rugby match](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: I unscrew the cap and immediately I am back in a dressing shed before a rugby match
Opinion: Excuse me while I reminisce.
![Joe Bennett: We need another name for our phones, here’s some suggestions](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: We need another name for our phones, here’s some suggestions
OPINION: Today’s mobile phone barely ever makes a phone call.
![Joe Bennett: Possums are eating my apples](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Possums are eating my apples
OPINION: It’s years since I ate a home-grown apple, because of the possums.
![Joe Bennett: The fundamentals of writing a song](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: The fundamentals of writing a song
Opinion: Joe Bennett found four fundamentals to writing a song.
![Joe Bennett: What Henry the seagull may be teaching us about our own delusions](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: What Henry the seagull may be teaching us about our own delusions
Why seek to please a gull that would cheerfully eat our eyes?
![Joe Bennett: Oldest man on the planet tells it like it is](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Oldest man on the planet tells it like it is
OPINION: John Tinniswood, of Stockport in England, is now the oldest man on Earth.
![Joe Bennett: Spotting the signs of suburban symbolism](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Spotting the signs of suburban symbolism
OPINION: At the age of 66, columnist Joe Bennett washed his car for the very first time.
![Joe Bennett: Ovally displeased with the evolution of the word oval](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Ovally displeased with the evolution of the word oval
OPINION: The word oval is an imprecise term.
![Joe Bennett: Why the dishwasher has become the bane of my life](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Why the dishwasher has become the bane of my life
The device is advertised, of course, as labour-saving, but how much labour does it save?
![Joe Bennett: I haven’t got a bad back and it will soon get better](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: I haven’t got a bad back and it will soon get better
OPINION: And the plain fact of the matter is that I’ve got an excellent back.
![Joe Bennett: Toad in the hole makes the ordinary extraordinary](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Toad in the hole makes the ordinary extraordinary
I have loved toad in the hole for as long as I can remember.
![Joe Bennett: Technology is always changing and change is daunting](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Technology is always changing and change is daunting
Opinion: People feel powerless before it and threatened by it.
![Joe Bennett: Time flies, and sometimes you can see it on the move](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Time flies, and sometimes you can see it on the move
OPINION: Nothing new in any of this, of course.
![Joe Bennett: Instinctively we go to the beach when it is hot](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Instinctively we go to the beach when it is hot
Opinion: The sun and heat drive us to the beach.
![Joe Bennett: Dogs, traffic jams and the lessons about life they teach us](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Dogs, traffic jams and the lessons about life they teach us
Opinion: Dogs are better at seeing only the here and now.
![Joe Bennett: My burning yet fruitless hatred for flies](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: My burning yet fruitless hatred for flies
They say a nice person wouldn’t hurt a fly. I am not a nice person.
![Joe Bennett: Words do not belong in bed, they are for the daytime](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Words do not belong in bed, they are for the daytime
OPINION: "We love to sleep. To deprive someone of sleep is a form of torture."
![Joe Bennett: Fishing for teeth an encouraging start to the new year](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Fishing for teeth an encouraging start to the new year
I would be invested only in the novelty of fishing for these items, and novelty wears off.
![Joe Bennett: Can’t beat a good book](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Can’t beat a good book
Robert Graves the man is less clear-cut than his poetry.
![Joe Bennett: Here comes the... solar flare](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Here comes the... solar flare
OPINION: I have just discovered there is such as thing as a solar cycle.
![Joe Bennett: Let’s hear it for the house sparrow](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Let’s hear it for the house sparrow
Perhaps the most famous sparrow of all is an imaginary one.
![Joe Bennett: Stones still rolling with the ages - somehow](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Stones still rolling with the ages - somehow
OPINION: If girls had come for the music they wouldn’t have drowned it out with screaming.
![Joe Bennett: Butter can be a slippery slope, but a glorious slippery slope](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Butter can be a slippery slope, but a glorious slippery slope
The modern day Puritans are desperate to interfere with our diets.
![Joe Bennett: We can leave our mark to fill the sudden blank death leaves](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: We can leave our mark to fill the sudden blank death leaves
Opinion: An alumni magazine sparked within Joe Bennett a revelation about death.
![Joe Bennett: The poets' poignant reminders about death](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: The poets' poignant reminders about death
OPINION: Listening to them would do us good. We would live better.
![Joe Bennett: From rugby to the gentrified streets of Havelock North](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: From rugby to the gentrified streets of Havelock North
Joe Bennett's weekend in Havelock North.
![Joe Bennett: Here we go, it’s bird-in-the-garage time](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Here we go, it’s bird-in-the-garage time
This time of the year there are young birds about.
![Joe Bennett: Challenging denim jeans' status as a symbol of Western freedom](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Challenging denim jeans' status as a symbol of Western freedom
Jeans blossomed by being emblematic of youth, glamour and American prosperity.
![Joe Bennett: Is our smokefree crusade just a vanity project?](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Is our smokefree crusade just a vanity project?
'What a virtuous little nation we are.'
![Joe Bennett: On the summit of victory after plumbing the depths](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: On the summit of victory after plumbing the depths
OPINION: Suddenly the grey and greasy chuckled all away.
![Joe Bennett: This is the wild wonderful coast](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: This is the wild wonderful coast
OPINION: It is a constant reminder of the earth’s massive forces, of our impermanence.
![Joe Bennett: Eat your heart out Shakespeare!](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Eat your heart out Shakespeare!
OPINION: The mangled grammar, the weird ‘take with’: where was this going?
![Joe Bennett: A burger lawsuit - what could be more American?](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: A burger lawsuit - what could be more American?
There are probably as many personal injury lawyers in the US as there are burger joints.
![Joe Bennett: Let me introduce you to the culinary delight of Pork Bennett](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Let me introduce you to the culinary delight of Pork Bennett
OPINION: It is neither fancy nor difficult to make. But it turns my knees to jelly.
![Joe Bennett: No cattle beast in history ever did such a thing as this](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: No cattle beast in history ever did such a thing as this
Some trampers had all the gear, others none. I lay in between.
![Joe Bennett: My building plans were a snow-go](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: My building plans were a snow-go
Opinion: The sheer fatigue of building melted away when the stunning snow arrived.
![Joe Bennett: At the age of 66 I feel like a child again](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: At the age of 66 I feel like a child again
The railway tracks we run along are laid down young and very hard to leave.
![Joe Bennett: A deeper dive into what the return of seals really means](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: A deeper dive into what the return of seals really means
OPINION: Seals are popping up everywhere - even Bunnings Warehouse in Whangārei.
![Joe Bennett: The question's meaning was unmistakable - something catastrophic had happened](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: The question's meaning was unmistakable - something catastrophic had happened
It was clear he was pleased to be speaking truthfully about the hardest subject.
![Joe Bennett: In this world fast runners do not always win the races, and the brave do not always win the battles](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: In this world fast runners do not always win the races, and the brave do not always win the battles
OPINION: Atheist Joe Bennett says humans are a species just like ants.
![Joe Bennett: The mystery of the bowls shoe and the money](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: The mystery of the bowls shoe and the money
OPINION: Whose was the money? And what was it doing in a bowls shoe?
![Joe Bennett: The plumber’s mission, to defy water, to hold it in check, to enable a world](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: The plumber’s mission, to defy water, to hold it in check, to enable a world
OPINION: Plumbers are the true water gods of the world.
![A cautionary tale about vacuuming - sort of](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
A cautionary tale about vacuuming - sort of
A trip to a garden centre has Joe Bennett thinking we can't spot dangers ourselves.
![Joe Bennett: Signs everywhere, but what do they all mean?](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Signs everywhere, but what do they all mean?
OPINION: Implicit behind these signs is a desire to render us ruly, Joe Bennett writes.
![Joe Bennett: My favourite work from late novelist Martin Amis](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: My favourite work from late novelist Martin Amis
Columnist Joe Bennett on the best work of late novelist Martin Amis.
![Joe Bennett: Health and safety - the two most dangerous words in the modern lexicon](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Health and safety - the two most dangerous words in the modern lexicon
How a tale of troublesome tipple proves a point about autonomy.
![Joe Bennett: Understanding why I hate Trump so much when I'm not a hater](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Understanding why I hate Trump so much when I'm not a hater
Joe Bennett says he's not one for hatred, but something about this guy really gets him.
![Plants are sentient beings - they're animals with roots, columnist Joe Bennett contends](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Plants are sentient beings - they're animals with roots, columnist Joe Bennett contends
'Murdering'a row of trees got Joe Bennett thinking
![Joe Bennett: Far North road trip wasn't without challenges](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Far North road trip wasn't without challenges
We were into Northland proper and the Auckland money ran out.
![Joe Bennett: Birthday sparks memories of travels gone by](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Birthday sparks memories of travels gone by
A coming trip to celebrate his birthday brings back good and bad memories for Joe Bennett.
![Comment: Upgraded patient portal proves a pain with a capital P](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Comment: Upgraded patient portal proves a pain with a capital P
Logging online to get his meds leads to saga for Joe Bennett.
![A tennis ball stuck in the gutter excites Joe Bennett](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
A tennis ball stuck in the gutter excites Joe Bennett
Not all balls are created equal, but tennis balls are king, muses columnist Joe Bennett.
![Joe Bennett ponders life, the universe and everything else through dying microwave](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett ponders life, the universe and everything else through dying microwave
Columnist Joe Bennett finds the demise of his microwave sparks deeper thoughts
![When the puzzle is too puzzling, think about something else - Joe Bennett](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
When the puzzle is too puzzling, think about something else - Joe Bennett
Clue: A flummoxed columnist - two words (3,7)
![Joe Bennett: How Hugh Grant ripped the veil from the Hollywood altar](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: How Hugh Grant ripped the veil from the Hollywood altar
He knew the game he was required to play.
![Joe Bennett: Has our push to be smokefree made every smoker a 'social leper'?](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Has our push to be smokefree made every smoker a 'social leper'?
Joe Bennett says smokers used to be widely accepted but are now social outcasts.
![Joe Bennett: It doesn't take a sailor to appreciate the SailGP splendour](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: It doesn't take a sailor to appreciate the SailGP splendour
Lyttelton is abuzz as the South Island town counts down to the impressive race.
![Joe Bennett: Is posh food all it's cracked up to be?](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Is posh food all it's cracked up to be?
There are many good things to eat and drink in this world and they are to be enjoyed.
![Joe Bennett: Maybe it wasn’t the last straw that broke the camel’s back](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Maybe it wasn’t the last straw that broke the camel’s back
Columnist Joe Bennett once met a camel. He did not trust it.
![Joe Benett: Our new ‘humbled’ Prime Minister may be mincing his words](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Benett: Our new ‘humbled’ Prime Minister may be mincing his words
Opinion: It seems we may have forgotten the true meaning of the word humbled.
![Joe Bennett: Readers upbraid, chide and scold me for my DIY sins](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Readers upbraid, chide and scold me for my DIY sins
Joe Bennett gets chastised for daring to throw out old screws, washers and other fixings.
![Joe Bennett's new bin means more accurate projectile throwing](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett's new bin means more accurate projectile throwing
A square bin means more success.
![Grenade launchers may not be the best Christmas presents, Joe Bennett reckons](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Grenade launchers may not be the best Christmas presents, Joe Bennett reckons
Joe Bennett muses on giving grenade launchers as Christmas presents.
![A good one-liner does its job on Joe Bennett](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
A good one-liner does its job on Joe Bennett
Columnist Joe Bennett: 'There is almost nothing one can say in reply.'
![Joe Bennett: How women's sport has given rise to a new language](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: How women's sport has given rise to a new language
Joe Bennett takes a look how language evolves side-by-side with women's sports.
![Joe Bennett: To do, to make, to love, to laugh, to give, that is our creed and motto](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: To do, to make, to love, to laugh, to give, that is our creed and motto
We have set up a mission to cruise ship passengers.
![Using his chainsaw givese Joe Bennett a new look at life](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Using his chainsaw givese Joe Bennett a new look at life
Joe Bennett finds chainsawing gives him something to muse on.
![Joe Bennett: Most of us would like to be rich but aren’t](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Most of us would like to be rich but aren’t
Opinion: A lot of money makes for a tough life for some.
![Opinion: The upside-down painting dilemma](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Opinion: The upside-down painting dilemma
Who is to say that Paris has it right and Dusseldorf wrong?
![Comment: Much ado about funding - why the Bard matters](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Comment: Much ado about funding - why the Bard matters
Joe Bennett has seen the transformative power of Shakespeare among our youth.
![Joe Bennett: Russia's 'killer dolphins' are next phase of animal weaponry](/pf/resources/images/placeholders/placeholder_l.png?d=795)
Joe Bennett: Russia's 'killer dolphins' are next phase of animal weaponry
Joe Bennett dives into the lengthy history of how man has used animals for warfare.