Ah, elections. Once upon a time I couldn't wait for them: the thrust of red versus blue, the cut of one wannabe's jibe over another's, the tit-for-tats over sacred cows in quest of a comfy council seat.

But these days, what with the ruling neoliberalists driving us all over the cliff to extinction, there seems little point in getting excited choosing between every Sandra and Damon as to who might take charge of the town clock.

Sorry, that should have read town clerk – more grandiosely referred to now as a CEO – though whether any mayor or council can

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