It's time to tell your kids they suck

Will Johnston, host of The Hits 9-3 radio show. Photo/George Novak

Every now and then, you need to tell your kids that they suck at something.

How could I?! How dare I? Especially because one of my pet hates is people who don't have kids giving people who do have kids some solid and 'heartfelt' parenting advice.

But in my defence, A: you can't tell me you haven't actually thought that about your, or someone else's, kids before (even deep down in that dark place you refuse to believe exists in you) and B:I'm just passing on this advice from an actual real-life parent.

The AIMS Games were last week in the Bay, the kids and their supporters were so much fun and brilliant at what they do.

But I heard a parent talking at an event over that week that really resonated with the part of me that believes one day I might be a good parent.I also believe honesty is great, sometimes, especially when it hurts a little.

AIMS Games is about sportsmanship and fair play and a heck of a lot of fun. Telling your child that they aren't the best at something actually fits hand in hand with that.

By this stage you're probably thinking I'm mean. I didn't come up with this idea.

Hear me out. If your child isn't the strongest at something (be it sporting, or otherwise), is the best thing you can do be to tell them that they're the best, they're going to win easily and no matter what, they're better than anyone else at it?

You've seen the auditions on those American Idol type programmes? Do you think some of their mothers told them they could sing the best ever? Look where that got them - international embarrassment!

I don't want you to go and tell little Johnny that his 95-year-old granddad has more running talent than him, or that the shopping trolley in the Wairoa River has more chance of winning the 50m freestyle.

What this parent was saying is that his son wasn't the best at a particular sport, they both recognised he needed to improve, they had a chat as father and son about where his strengths and (more importantly) weaknesses were, and decided that they would work to improve them and be honest with each other about how they thought they performed.

Yes, I get that you need to build your kids up, but false hope is actually cruel and detrimental.

Regardless of if it's parenting, or just general life.

How did this parent's son go in the AIMS Games sport he was part of? He finished in the top 20 of a big event, smashing his personal best by heaps!

He surprised them both. Well, there's that weakness turned into strength through honesty then!