Sideswipe: April 4: A fantastic neon typo

Is that what you really meant to say? Photo / Supplied

This fantastic neon typo - I'd guess for a takeaway outfit - was spotted at a Henderson collectables shop.

Undies left behind
A reader writes: "Do you live out at West Auckland? Are you wondering where your partner's or perhaps even your son's bright blue silky underpants have gone? You know ... the ones with the monkey faces. Well, they are where he left them - in the 'Dingle Dell' at Waikumete Cemetery. Not sure if the bra is his, though. Tell him next time to take his clothing home with him, along with all the empty beer cans and plastic cups left strewn around the place. The mind boggles."

Dating disasters
Date Stories #1) I went out with this guy once who for the first 20 minutes of our dinner date diligently picked at a scab on his hand while he talked about himself. Finally the top of the sebaceous sore was prised off and he bled profusely on to the white table cloth. He was a nurse too.

Date Stories #2) I met a girl who told me she had a gastric band. When I came back from the loo she was crying and both our desserts were gone. (Via Twitter)

Date Stories #3) On my last date the guy had a pet wooden giraffe with its own Facebook page. His name was Sebastian the giraffe. (via Twitter)

Date Stories #4) My date arrives at the restaurant and before sitting down he announces, "I'm Jon and I don't want kids or commitment" then went for a piss. (Via Twitter)

Date Stories #5) I went on a date with a man I'd met through "Connections" in the local paper. We went for a stroll along Karekare beach and after some chit-chat he began to ask about my parents - what did they do for a living, did they own their own home or have any investments ... followed by what were my plans for the future, did I rent or own my flat in Mt Eden, and how much money did I make. Needless to say I declined Mr Gold Digger's offer to go for a round of mini golf after our walk and asked him to drop me straight home.

Beware of non-sticky imitations
The people at Blu Tack were mortified that a teacher was questioning the stickability of their product. They advise users to make sure the product has been applied correctly and to look out for impostors. "The quickest way to identify the genuine Blu Tack is to check the spelling, 'Blu Tack', check it is branded 'Bostik', or check the only language on the back panel is English."