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Home / Rotorua Daily Post

Stephanie Worsop: Am I in danger of becoming an entitled 'Karen'?

Stephanie Arthur-Worsop
By Stephanie Arthur-Worsop
News Director, Rotorua Daily Post·Rotorua Daily Post·
30 Jan, 2021 10:00 PM4 mins to read

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At what point does raising an issue with a waiter make you a "Karen"? Photo / Getty Images

At what point does raising an issue with a waiter make you a "Karen"? Photo / Getty Images

OPINION

I've been given a lot of labels in my life.

I've been labelled a top student, a wife, a career woman and, most recently, a mother.

All these labels I have welcomed and embraced.

But recently I was given a label I neither wanted nor endorsed over my actions at a restaurant.

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I was labelled a Karen.

For those who haven't come across the term, being a "Karen" is to be entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is normal.

Now, this jolted me right down to my bones because I consider myself to be one of the least "Karen-y" people.

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I never send my food back, I'd die of embarrassment if I was with somebody who raised their voice at a server and on the odd occasion I've had to return a faulty item, I do it with so many apologies and exclamations of "no worries" and "it was probably my fault!" that it becomes unclear who's trying to get the refund.

And just to drive home my point - I once ordered a margherita pizza that arrived 40 minutes late and was missing the basil and tomato but I just resigned myself to eating the overpriced cheese pizza because I didn't want to inconvenience the store with having to make and deliver a replacement.

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When I see the videos and memes of people acting entitled in stores, being rude to customer service people and just being unpleasant in general, I cringe and think how I could never act like that.

But, in the eyes of my family, my request at a restaurant recently has me officially joining the ranks of the dyed-blonde, middle-aged "can I speak to the manager" brigade.

Do I think that's fair? Absolutely not! But I'll let you all decide whether I should be judged and condemned.

A couple of weekends ago my parents came down to visit so hubby and I thought it would be nice to take them out to our favourite restaurant.

Because we have to eat at 5pm these days (got to keep in time with baby's schedule otherwise we pay for it later!) the restaurant wasn't very busy and we were able to order our entrees and drinks straight away.

When the waitress bought out our wine glasses my mum started inspecting hers. She then started rubbing it and whispering that it was dirty.

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I knew my mum wouldn't ask for a replacement but I also knew she wouldn't drink out of a dirty glass so I asked her to pass it to me.

When the waitress returned with our cutlery, I leaned over and said: "I'm so sorry but could you please swap this out for a clean glass as this one's a little dirty, thank you so much".

She said "of course" and I smiled to let her know it wasn't a big deal.

But as soon as she was out of earshot my mum said "okay Karen" and my hubby and Dad agreed, saying "yeah Karen, talk about embarrassing".

I was mortified! Did the waitress think I was being a Karen? Did I not convey the lightheartedness of my request enough? Will I ever be able to show my face there again?!

Having now been accused of being a Karen for the first time in my life, I wonder if the term has evolved to apply not just to those being unreasonable but to any woman who dares to speak up or be assertive.

If that's the case, just you watch me embrace my new label like the feminist I am.

But I may also start carrying around wet wipes so I don't have to inconvenience the waitress next time.

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