Yet with suicide I feel that's exactly what we should be doing, shining the spotlight on the subject. In the past this has been a definite no no. It might give people ideas. Copycat the suicide method, glorify it even.
There is research to say in the past this has occurred. I don't think it's the method that should be highlighted but we should know that suicide does occur and we need to talk about it.
We have shameful statistics in New Zealand - for teen suicide the worst in the world and it's not getting any better. More people die of suicide each year than die on our roads.
But there are encouraging signs that as a country we are becoming mature enough to want to listen, talk and learn. The recent NZ Herald series Break the Silence looked at suicide, the causes and in particular focused on the wider subject of mental health. What is currently being done and where New Zealand needs to do better.
For all our bravado, No 8 wire mentality and punching above our weight in the areas of sport, commerce and the creative arts you would think we could handle speaking openly and honestly about mental health. We don't.
There is still stigma attached to the subject and for many because they don't know enough about it they shy away from talking about it and learning where they might be able to support family and friends more.
I attended a workshop on suicide information sharing some years ago. Most of the content came from Canada but I found it extremely helpful in raising and discussing issues that we never talk about in private let alone in public.
I know it's not a subject that is easily discussed but we should put our squeamishness aside and start the conversation. What I didn't realise is that in many cases there are signs that family members and friends, because they didn't know what to look for, didn't pick up on. Understandable enough. You don't know what you don't know.
And to be honest how many people are looking for tell-tale signs? Even want to know that their family member or friend could be contemplating suicide?
After I attended the workshop I sent three staff off to attend the next one. I didn't know at the time that one of them had lost a son to suicide. I probably would have sent someone else had I known.
Returning to work the staff member told me she found the workshop very beneficial. She even suggested that at some time in the future, not immediately after a death and only when the family felt up to it, they would benefit from attending such a workshop.
I hadn't even thought about that. I was thinking more of informing those that wanted to know more about suicide and possibly be prepared to offer support and help before anything tragic happens.
She said she got answers to many of her questions that nobody seemed to understand or could answer before. She had so many. She said, "I came away knowing I wasn't to blame."
Our suicide statistics can be reduced. We need to know there are people who can help and what mental health services are available. At the same time the causes must receive targeted attention too.
One health provider and one programme cannot hope to do all that is required. A collective approach with an unwavering commitment to get on top of this scourge might see some light at the end of the tunnel.
■ Merepeka Raukawa-Tait is a Rotorua Lakes Council councillor, Lakes District Health Board member and chairs the North Island Whanau Ora Commissioning Agency. She writes, speaks and broadcasts to thwart the spread of political correctness.
WHERE TO GET HELP:
DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757
LIFELINE: 0800 543 354
NEED TO TALK? Call or text 1737
SAMARITANS: 0800 726 666
YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633 or text 234
