Northland teen who lost mum to cancer steps up with Relay for Life

A Northland 16-year-old who lost her mother to cancer is turning her grief into purpose through Relay for Life.

Ella Sheppard will be a youth ambassador for the Cancer Society events in Northland and Auckland this month in honour of her mum, Myra Sheppard.

Relay for Life is a community event to celebrate cancer survivors, remember those who have died and fight back by raising life-saving funds for the Cancer Society.

But Ella says the event is also a safe place to talk openly about grief and the impact cancer has on family members.

Myra Sheppard, from the Kaipara town of Pahi, died about 18 months ago after a long battle with breast cancer.

Ella describes her as the key person in the close-knit extended family, who was fit and active even while battling cancer.

“She never let cancer define her. I always wanted to be more like her.”

Ella believes being a youth ambassador for Relay for Life is something her mum would’ve wanted her to do.

“It’s that idea of putting your grief into purpose.”

In her role, Ella talks about the impact her mother’s cancer had on her, her sister and four brothers, including having to take on more chores when she died.

Ella Sheppard (from left) and her sister Charlize Sheppard both took part in Whangārei's Relay for Life last year in honour of their late mother, Myra Sheppard.

The hardest part was trying to find the “new normal” after years of living with cancer in the family, she says.

“When Mum died, I suddenly had freedom again. I didn’t have to feel guilty leaving the house because my mum was sick at home.

“But it was weird, because your normal has disappeared and you’re left trying to work out who you are now.”

Ella hopes to help other young people to feel seen after supporting a whānau member through cancer treatment, ensuring their experience counts.

“When you have events like Relay, it makes you feel included. It reminds you that even if you didn’t have cancer yourself, your experience still matters.”

Myra Sheppard (from left) was an inspiration, who never let her cancer define her, says Ella.

Last year Ella and her extended whānau, as part of Team Myra Sheppard, were one of the highest‑fundraising teams in Northland’s Relay for Life. She says the effort was driven by the love so many people had for her mum.

“Fundraising became a way of honouring her and showing what an amazing person she was.”

As she prepares to study business at NorthTec, Ella says being a Relay for Life youth ambassador is teaching her leadership skills.

She hopes to encourage others to join in the event and to donate to the Cancer Society, where a little goes a long way.

This year’s Northland Relay for Life, held at Whangārei’s Trigg Arena from 10am to 10pm on March 21, will raise money for the new Northland Cancer Lodge near Whangārei Hospital.

Team Myra Sheppard raised one of the largest amounts at Northland's Relay for Life last year and will be back in force again on Saturday.

This will be followed the next week by the Auckland Relay for Life at Trusts Arena in Henderson, which will also raise vital funds for the society.

Denise Piper is a news reporter for the Northern Advocate, focusing on health and business. She has more than 20 years in journalism and is passionate about covering stories that make a difference.