Kevin Page: Stolen bag of tools triggers insurance documents hunt

Car burglary sets off a major hunt for the paperwork to make an insurance claim. Should have stuck to the "put essential documents in a safe place for an emergency" rule, says Kevin Page. Photo / Getty Images

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In the wee small hours of Sunday some toe-rag smashed a window on my car and made off with a bag full of tools I had foolishly left on the floor.

Luckily, we've got insurance so much of Sunday afternoon was spent making phone calls and filling in forms.

Of course, that was after Mrs P and I had spent most of Sunday morning trying to locate the actual policy documents – they are the ones with all the vital details that should be in a safe and secure place so we can grab them in two seconds flat if there's an emergency.

But, like many people I'm sure, we've never actually got around to putting them in that safe place until now, after the horse has bolted. So to speak.

I'm sure you know what I mean.

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Anyway. We eventually found the required documents lumped in with all the other insurance paperwork we've been sent over the years.

I gather every time you sneeze or change the minutest of details on your policy the insurance companies are required by law to send you more paper.

We've had a few sneezes and changes in the past year so consequently our car documents were in the skyscraper-high pile mentally marked "must go through", and which we never did.

And naturally, when one is under certain stresses involving shattered glass and lost tools, accusations are made suggesting one or other of the parties in the household had a responsibility to make sure the paperwork could be found at the drop of a hat.

Clearly that person had failed in their duty (see Household Financial Documents Statutes 2020, paragraph 24, sub-section 3A) and an entire morning had been wasted before the insurance claim could properly be made.

Anyway.

I won't bore you with the exact details of the "discussion" except to say in my opinion Mrs P was responsible for that failing. First world problem, I know.

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Conversely she was of the opinion I was to blame and, perhaps more importantly, I should get on with sorting out the insurance claim and stop being an unmentionable word that rhymes with "thickhead".

She also mentioned I might want to stop sulking or I might find myself starving when it came to dinner time. Easy decision really.

So, that situation averted, the claim form was filled out with all the right numbers and now we just have to wait for them to give us a call on the next business day to let us know what's happening.

At least I will have been fed and watered while I'm waiting.

We already know what's happening in relation to the associated police investigation into the wilful act of damage and theft. Nothing.

We spoke to them Sunday morning. They were very helpful. I know it's not the crime of the century but I thought there might have been a bit more action. Maybe a roadblock, man hunt, door to door search, undercover sting ... that sort of thing.

Unfortunately not.

Less than an hour after I reported the incident, they sent me a very nice standard form letter saying they'd completed their investigation and couldn't find the thief.

A sign of the times perhaps?

Oh well, at least they wrote.

Wonder if they could investigate whose job it was to make sure all our insurance documents were in a safe and secure place, able to be found at the drop of a hat or at times of emergency.

• Kevin Page is a teller of tall tales with a firm belief too much serious news gives you frown lines. Feel free to share stories to editor@northernadvocate.co.nz (Kevin Page in subject field) .