But he must have guzzled too many lagers before he left the gift's accompanying magnetic case under the tree. It was too big for the thing; designed instead for a predecessor in Apple's infinite chain of products.
I don't usually brave the Boxing Day sales but the extravagance of my gift had left me with a nagging sense of entitlement. I simply had to get the correct case, and this was the one day it would be at a bargain price - or so I thought.
I was staying in Auckland, and decided to head back to the store in the CBD where Santa had sourced my gift, receipt and slightly mangled packaging in hand.
After travelling into town in gridlock traffic at the speed of a horse and cart, I realised there was nowhere to park. Bungling about in my poorly air-conditioned vehicle, I'm ashamed to say I pulled into a space reserved for parents with prams.
I ducked out of my car with hypothetical baby in tow. You have to understand my situation - it was every man for himself.
I rode a wave of sweating, sunburnt shoppers to Dick Smith Electronics. Everybody smelled of day-old braised ham.
When I reached the counter of the store my T Shirt was soaked through. I'd been standing in a dazed queue for 45 minutes. The shop assistant had dealt with so many customers he could only communicate in short sobs.
Struggling to convey my predicament, I saw on my receipt that the man responsible for my gift malfunction was a shop assistant named "Sean".
The reluctant teen led me to the rack of iPad cases and produced one that seemed to fit my device. Eager to escape, I paid a slashed price of $70 for the small piece of plastic.
Fighting through the wave of shoppers on my way back to the car, I wore a self-satisfied grin. I didn't belong with these jokers - I was finished.
But when I got into my car and gave the new case a closer inspection, I saw that although it had a tighter fit than my original case, it was actually designed for a completely different tablet. I'd failed - I was still in Boxing Day limbo.
Four hours and two stores later, I used trembling hands to fit my iPad into its proper case. There was no assistant present - I'd begun unpacking cases myself, which seemed acceptable given the store was on the verge of a looting.
That day saw an unnaturally consistent period of sunshine in Auckland, and rather than spending it on the beach with loved ones, I traipsed through the city and lost my Christmas cheer somewhere in the crowd.
I'll never go shopping on Boxing Day again.
Harrison Christian is a reporter at Hawke's Bay Today.
- Linda Hall is on leave.
