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Home / Bay of Plenty Times / Opinion

Dawn Picken: Why some of us are testing whether we would be happier living overseas

By Dawn Picken
Weekend and opinion writer·Bay of Plenty Times·
7 Oct, 2022 10:00 PM5 mins to read

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Kiwis are fantastic at reinventing themselves abroad, writes Dawn Picken. Photo/123rf

Kiwis are fantastic at reinventing themselves abroad, writes Dawn Picken. Photo/123rf

Opinion by Dawn Picken
Dawn is a weekend and opinion writer for the Bay of Plenty Times
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Comment

Now that borders are open, some of us are testing whether we would be happier living overseas.

Kiwibank experts in March predicted New Zealand would lose around 20,000 people each year as borders reopened.

The Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment estimates between 50,000 and 125,000 people (mostly of working age) could leave the country in the next year.

Some Kiwis are seeking refuge from the cost of living crisis.

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When the average house knocks you back roughly a million dollars, nearly anywhere else looks affordable.

That includes cities like London and Melbourne, where you can earn a lot more money.

But moving transcends dollars; it's also about learning whether you might find fulfillment elsewhere.

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The geographic cure is something experts in addiction have long cautioned against.

They warn that uprooting yourself won't solve untreated, deep-seated issues.

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Change is an inside job. I related this to my 16-year-old son when he told me he wanted to spend a year in America with his grandparents.

While not addicted to substances, he was hooked on video games, sleeping half the day and hanging out with friends.

"You'll take yourself everywhere you go," I said.

"You won't become a different person in Ohio."

Two months into the experiment, I may have been wrong.

Master 16 is attending school each day, and he has uttered words I had never heard him speak before: "I'm doing homework".

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Who is this kid, and what has he done with my son?

He's too busy with two-hour soccer trainings four days per week, plus matches every three to five days, plus his studies to spend much time on his gaming PC.

He works odd jobs for his grandfather, who drives him to school each day, incentivises him to get good marks and keeps him on a short leash with an 11 pm curfew and minimal overnights at friends.

It's early days, but the geographic shift and living with a grandparent rather than a mum (whose voice my son had grown overly accustomed to) seems to have enabled Master 16 to hit the reset button.

He is the new kid with a slightly foreign accent in a small town, and he is lapping up his star status.

Having spent a year abroad in Luxembourg when I was the same age as my son, I get it.

I wasn't running away from home but felt I was done with American high school.

I wanted to experience a new language and a new culture, to learn who I would become in a new space.

Two decades later, I moved to New Zealand from Spokane after my husband died.
One wonders if airline tickets are my drug of choice.

Kiwis are fantastic at reinventing themselves abroad.

The OE is embedded in New Zealanders' DNA. Most people I know in my native America who lived overseas were connected to the military.

They didn't base themselves in a far-flung destination strictly for personal growth or adventure.

Can shifting our location improve our happiness?

In his book, The Blue Zones of Happiness, Dan Buettner explains why certain places around the globe score high on wellbeing surveys.

He pegged Costa Rica, Singapore and Denmark as destinations that consistently top lists of the world's happiest places.

He says people in Singapore work hard and prefer security over freedom.

Costa Ricans enjoy easy access to nature, strong family and religious connections, and a high degree of equality, since everyone's basic needs are provided.

In Denmark, all health care, education and social security are covered.

People work 37 hours per week, taking time to join clubs and pursue their passions.

While America generally does not appear at the top of world happiness charts, cities Buettner studied in the US and worldwide where residents had high happiness scores were bikeable and walkable; had access to parks and green spaces; and saw reduced consumption of fast food and junk food.

New Zealand ranked number ten in this year's World Happiness Report, two places above Australia. The United States was number 16.

I was a happy person in America and remain so in Aotearoa. I believe my quality of life is better here, thanks to the political and social systems that have resulted in greater access to health care and greater safety, as measured across many different metrics.

Despite my son's honeymoon phase in Ohio, we both know he is not as safe in the States as he would be in New Zealand.

Happiness is elusive for some Kiwis and at risk for everyone: data shows a growing divide in Godzone between haves and have-nots.

Inequality results in poorer health and education outcomes and higher crime rates.

The happiness of our communities depends on equity, which facilitates the happiness of individuals.

I don't know how my son's American experiment will end, whether he'll return to New Zealand in the middle of next year, or extend his OE.

Whatever he decides, I hope he's happy.

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