“The other is good – he is filled with love, joy, peace, generosity, truth, empathy, courage, humility and faith. This same fight is going on inside the hearts of everyone, including you.”
The grandson thinks about this and then asks his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee replies: “The one you feed.”
It is a popular parable with many versions of course, but I like this one. The mind picture of a grandfather talking to his grandson personally resonates with me. I am having those deep and meaningful conversations with my granddaughters now. It is wonderful to watch them thinking about things.
All of us are unique, of course. We are all very different to each other. We are just made that way. But most of us, from all backgrounds, share the same values and thoughts about what is right and wrong. What matters in our lives. How people should be treated and respected, not necessarily based on any particular religion or faith, just what is right and fair.
“Common sense” is probably a phrase that captures this to a certain extent. “Courtesy and consideration” is another phrase I like.
Most of us try to feed the good wolf all our lives. The bad wolf is always there though, always in the background. The go-to when we become angry or sad about something, or find a situation too challenging. It is always a conscious effort for many people to ignore the bad wolf. He is easy to listen to, easy to obey. He plays to our base natures of selfishness and survival.
The good wolf has to be remembered sometimes. He is always there but he is a meek chap full of kindness and goodness. Easy to ignore in a crowd as he doesn’t push himself forward, he just sits there waiting for us to remember him.
None of us are perfect but most of us want to be the best people we can be. Be kind, good, happy and positive. Build strong relationships and lives. Try to be a success at whatever we choose to do in our lives.
Of course, life is never that easy – we are constantly tempted or challenged by that bad wolf in some small way, it is just in human nature to be like that. It is often easier to be angry than to just walk away; easier to use a hurtful word than to bite one’s lip.
Sadly, in some people, this is all reversed. The bad wolf runs the show with occasional appearances by the good wolf, who struggles to be seen at all. In fact, some would think that the good wolf is just not there but he is, waiting for the day when he can attract attention.
I have certainly not the space here to try to explore the whys and wherefores of it all but it has always been a mystery to me how two peas out of the same pod can sometimes just be so different – different as night and day.
One pea goes on to grow healthily and raise plenty of other good peas; the other pea just does not grow well.
A friend once explained it to me. He told me about the well-raised daughter of a family friend who was constantly in trouble with the law, made the worst decisions, and caused her parents sadness and grief all her adult life.
She was from a “normal” family, one of a few children; all the others had done fine in life.
My friend asked her one day why she was like she was, why she hurt everyone who loved her. She just replied that one day, aged about 15, she woke up and decided to be bad.
She turned totally to the bad wolf for the rules of her life.
Sadly, there are people who just enjoy being bad. No deep reasons. No deprivation or challenges in childhood. They just see the bad wolf.
