If you behave, your kid will behave

Liza Iliffe Photo/File

All parents want their children to do the right thing. You can help your young child to learn how to act and behave in the same ways you help them to learn and grow. Being a good role model and being positive and encouraging is really important as it helps your child to learn how to behave. As with all other learning, this needs lots and lots of repetition.

There are three really important principles in teaching your young child how to behave:

-Support your child's learning by showing them how to behave, and support and encourage them as they learn.

-Make sure the environment is safe and interesting.

-Decide on the boundaries and help your child to learn to keep to them.

Guiding your young child's behaviour

Remember to tell your child what you want him or her to do. This sounds simple and it makes a big difference but isn't always easy. Telling them what to do is much easier for children to understand than telling them what not to do. Also, try to be a good role model and be consistent about the rules of behaviour.

When you are regularly telling your child what you want her or him to do, this will help you to focus on good behaviour, too. You will notice when they are doing well and can give them praise and support in a positive way. This will reinforce their good behaviour.

Creating a safe and interesting environment and seeing yourself as a guide who can help your child to learn and behave well can prevent lots of irritating behaviour.

Making a safe and interesting environment

Plan for a positive environment where your child is safe to explore and learn. The right environment can make a difference to your child's behaviour, too.

As soon as babies begin to be mobile, they will want to move around and explore the house. It's a great idea to get down on the floor and check out what your baby might want to touch. Then you can move things out of his or her reach. This is the way to make that yes environment for your baby.

Your baby may often want to touch precious or breakable things.

As the manager of their safe environment, you might think "she's interested in this but it could break" and move the item out of reach.

Then, as the person who is thinking about your baby's learning (and creating a yes environment) you might quickly find some other interesting thing, and tell them something like "I know you want to play with that. It's my special treasure. Here's another special thing to play with instead. Look. It's got this ... and that ... It can do this ... and that ..."

As the person who is setting the boundaries, move those things that are not for your baby to play with and find him or her something else that is more interesting.

That way, your baby is learning more about what can be played with and what can't without upsetting her or him.

For your child to be able to learn effectively, he needs to learn to manage his behaviour. The points below summarise the important ways you can support your children's learning and help them grow to be happy and capable adults.

-Give them love and warmth.

-Lots of talking and listening.

-Guidance and understanding, support them emotionally.

-Set limits and boundaries.

-Be consistent - be firm, fair and friendly.

SKIP (Strategies for Kids and Information for Parents) has information on raising children in a positive way, SKIP is an initiative of the Ministry of Social Development. To find out more or to get a copy of the free SKIP parenting resources, contact Lynette or Liza at SKIP Whanganui on 027 626 1404, or email skipwanganui@xtra.co.nz. Visit us on facebook at SKIPalongMum!