A dear friend rang out of the blue the other day. She simply needed a chat with an old mate like me who, back in the day, shared some 'growing up' together.
It highlighted many things for me, one being the value and responsibility that we have as being someone's friend.
She reminded me of a conversation 30 years ago when I had challenged her on her dumb behaviour. She had been making decisions that were affecting her work and her relationships.
My memory is blurry but clearly hers wasn't and all this time later she thanked me for pulling her up. In hindsight she felt my challenge to her was the sign of a good friend ... I could not, nor could I ever be, any part of a friend's self destruction! I need to sleep at night without that on my conscience.
I would rather speak up and fight for what I believe to be the right thing to do, even if they aren't able to see it for themselves at the time. It's about integrity. If we think and deeply believe one thing, yet act in another way, or worse, don't act when we know we should, then surely that's going to have significant impact in ours and others' lives isn't it? It's pretty simple in my mind.
I've made some decisions in the past which were not honest and had little integrity, and I can't even admit that I would like to change those decisions, because had I not made them, and recognised that I was wrong, then I wouldn't be who I am today and have more clarity about my choices.
We all are guilty of being clouded at times by our own thinking, often fueled by drugs, alcohol, illness or the influence of others, and a good mate that's not afraid to ask the difficult questions can be quite handy. I am not the go-to person (personally or professionally) if you just want a 'yes' person. At some point difficult questions will be asked. I will not be an 'enabler' if I think there is destructive behaviour. I'm still doing what I did to my friend some 30 years ago! ...
Choose your friends and professional help wisely if you aren't happy with how life is rolling out.
Question the people around you. Are they simply enabling you to stay where you are? Or are they encouraging growth and well-being and asking some pertinent questions? If we are honest we know the answer to that already.
Carla is a life coach in Whanganui. Find her on www.carlascoachingforhealth.com
A dear friend rang out of the blue the other day. She simply needed a chat with an old mate like me who, back in the day, shared some 'growing up' together.
It highlighted many things for me, one being the value and responsibility that we have as being someone's friend.
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