Parents need to get real over raising kids

Spoiling your kids with toys and junk food and taking them everywhere to experience everything before they are 5 is just dumb. You are creating a bigger problem for yourselves and society by doing this. How? Rotorua mum Rochelle Manners explains

1) Toys (I'm talking the new plastic ones): You are not encouraging them to use their imagination, be at one with nature or often even socialise. Bikes - exercise and transport; bats & balls - hand-eye co-ordination, fitness and sharing, teamwork (cheaper than Xbox too); climbing trees, tree huts - strength and balance, basic building skills perhaps, and overcoming fears; the sprinkler - cheaper than the Aquatic Centre and no one can poo a floaty in the sprinkler so it's also more hygienic; board games - words, numbers, colours, math, taking turns, sharing and strategy; card games - same as board games; crayons and paper and scissors and old magazines/straws/leaves - creativity, colour, texture, using glue, using paint and using sharp objects safely; playing with bugs - empathy and wonder of the other creatures in this world; splashing through puddles - fun; rope swings - the best thing since sliced bread when we were kids even IF you fell off and grazed your chin on the bridge you built over the stream to get to the rope swing. Oops, I forgot music and dance. Gardening.

2) Junk food: It is more expensive and less nutritious than whole food and full of preservatives, salts and sugars that our bodies are not designed to process. Scientists have all but proven the link with ADD, ADHD, cancers, obesity and diabetes ... and many more nasties.

3) Taking your kids everywhere to experience everything from an early age:

a) They most probably won't remember much of it unless you flash the photos in their face every five minutes.

b) Can you really afford it all, or does it go on the credit card?

c) How would you feel if your kid was the know-all who had been everywhere, done everything, think they know everything and can never be impressed or treated by others because they have been there done that? I get annoyed when I try to do something nice or give a kid a treat thinking it's something special, only to be told that "my mum takes us to better places", or, "I've already been there it's not as good as Disneyland". I'm like: "Really? Well, seeing as how our birthday parties aren't fun or flashy enough for you, we won't be inviting you to the next one. In fact, seeing as you're so bored now and are spoiling everyone else who HASN'T been here a trillion times' fun, would you just like me to take you home?"

Nothing to look forward to and nothing left to thrill, except perhaps the thrill of sex, drugs and alcohol

You may be giving your kids everything you wish you had growing up and you may be trying to prove your success to the world with your impressive selection of every single DVD, gaming console and games, trips to every theme park on offer, the latest cellphone, car ... but you are raising spoiled, demanding brats that may one day have to lead this world for future generations.

If you think the politicians and corporates are idiots now, just wait till your kids get there (and they will end up in those positions probably because you will be running around rubbing shoulders with all the right people so that they do).

This has to be said if things in this world are going to change.

People need to assess the core necessities for a healthy upbringing and a healthy society so future generations can enjoy what the world has to offer as past generations have.

We need to stop destroying society out of greed and what I call a "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality and begin to SHOW our kids how we once lived because it was real and good and healthy and our children have the right to experience reality.

Money and things cannot buy love ... Sharing and nurturing and communicating and teaching and setting boundaries is love ... Teaching basic living skills and self responsibility and self respect, pride in effort and achievement. Gratitude, empathy, self-discipline and respect for others and others' property.

Love and light people, let's make the world a better place.

Rochelle Manners is the mother of three teenage sons and has studied social work and social change.