Opinion: Maori women deserve recognition, too

PHOTO/FILE

I didn't take exception when asked recently if the cost of going to the marae was the reason we had my sister, Lesley, at home when she died two months ago. No, the cost of using the marae had nothing to do with it.

It is becoming quite common these days for Maori families to have their loved one at home until the funeral service. And this, too, can be held at home. In my family we have always had our family member lying at home for a few days before heading to church for a short funeral service. It's what we know and feel comfortable with.

As a small family, along with our husbands and a few friends, we do everything ourselves. At home, on familiar turf, we have everything under control. For my husband Theo I knew that would be a different arrangement. His large tangi was held at his marae. That is what he wanted.

A three-day tangi on a marae doesn't come cheap. So it is not surprising that for some families today, even if they want to and with the help of koha, they may not be able to afford it. Marae have the usual utility costs and never-ending repairs and maintenance that need to be undertaken.

New health and safety regulations and increased insurance costs have added to the annual budget.

Marae must cover these outgoings by charging and submitting an itemised invoice to marae users.

But it isn't just the financial cost involved in staging a three-day tangi. There is the people cost. Ensuring they are available to run the kitchen, do the shopping, set up the meeting house, cover the cleaning roster and have kaumatua and kuia on hand.

This can be very demanding on family time. Of course, family and friends willingly help when they can. It is often reciprocal, for support given at a previous tangi.

But a marae is not everyone's choice and it serves no purpose preaching about "not upholding cultural practices" when a family decides against going to one. A marae does things its own way. Those who use marae know this. Everything is culturally prescribed.

Whereas at home there is less formality. Families are more comfortable in their own familiar surroundings.

This past year has seen the passing of many well-known Maori leaders. Not only in Te Arawa but throughout the country.

Their work; tribal, community and business involvement, is recognised and widely acknowledged. Yet it appears to me there is not the same recognition of the value of their lifetime work when Maori women die. Why the difference?

Men have taken up important roles as orators, tikanga and te reo experts, and as iwi treaty settlement negotiators. Positions of respect and mana. You only have to see what is written and hear what is said when a respected elder dies. Their tangi receive full coverage.

Yet every year our country loses hundreds of Maori women who have had far-reaching influence on Maori society.

They have battled for years to provide a better future for their children and grandchildren. Apart from bringing up their own families they have worked in many areas, particularly the social service sector. Work not for the fainthearted.

They have gained the necessary qualifications to teach, nurse, undertake social work, practise law and go into business. Through their hard work they have contributed to Maori development, growth and general wellbeing.

At the same time these women have been prepared to share their husbands, partners and family time, so the men could go about the "important business".

Everyone makes a contribution, often accompanied by personal sacrifice, but not all get equal recognition.

It is Maori women who have for years been unafraid to express views about legislative reforms and government policies that negatively affect Maori families. They have remained vigilant in so many areas and continue to identify and develop skills that will expand their reach and make their advocacy more effective.

It is right to mourn rangatira and kaumatua who held positions of influence and gave years of service to Maoridom and the nation.

But Maori women; as wives, mothers, sisters, aunties and in all their other roles, have enhanced and improved the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of Maori just as much as Maori men. Their work is also about service "above and beyond". It matters where it has the biggest impact. On families.

Merepeka Raukawa-Tait lives in Rotorua. She writes, speaks and broadcasts to thwart the spread of political correctness.