Merepeka Raukawa-Tait: If people see the ugly face of family violence, they will demand change

OPINION:

I haven’t opened the video link people sent me over the Easter holidays.

It shows a brutal and sustained attack on a young woman in Ngāruawāhia. She was trying to escape from her attacker and sought help from staff at a liquor outlet. She was eventually dragged from the store and into a car by the man, who then sped off.

The whole awful episode was caught on camera and posted on social media, and reported by mainstream media.

The attack disturbed many people who watched the video. They were distressed by what they saw, with one person telling me it made her physically sick.

I can understand that. I have seen such attacks and worked and spoken with so many victims of vicious assaults.

But no one should be surprised by this daily occurrence in New Zealand.

Whether it’s domestic violence, males assaulting females or random opportunistic violence against women, all contribute to making some girls and women feel demeaned and less valued as members of society.

In domestic violence cases, police attend an episode every four minutes.

This is hardly something we, as a nation, can be proud of. With the increasing use of methamphetamine as a contributing factor in violent behaviour in general, we need to understand we can no longer look the other way, hoping things will improve by themselves. That is not going to happen.

Many of the people who talked to me about the video asked me why no one intervenes when they see an assault taking place.

Unless you have the numbers to assist, I don’t blame anyone for not getting involved.

And if an assault is meth-induced, you don’t know what might happen.

Too often, we see reports where a good Samaritan is injured when intervening and trying to help someone being assaulted.

Sadly, on occasions, life has been lost.

And it would be a mistake to make generalisations about who is meting out the violence against women.

Does it matter who is doing the beating up? A woman is being assaulted and that is a crime.

That’s what we should focus on.

The racial divide shouldn’t come into it. We would be foolish to think assaults and family harm only occur in Māori homes.

That is not true. It is true, though, that some Māori have a poor track record in this area. And I believe they do have to do better.

They talk about the importance of whakapapa, whānau, wharetangata and aroha for mokopuna. Their taonga. Surely these are worth protecting.

The more people speak about the ugly face of violence in New Zealand, and not just against women, the more they will demand that change needs to happen.

The priority must be that homes are safe for women and children.

As family members, we have a vested interest in ensuring they are, not only for our immediate family but for our extended family members as well. If we don’t step up, we can’t expect anyone else to.

We could try focusing on putting our families’ safety first for the next 10 years. I’m sure our police officers will cheer a loud “amen to that”.

We must believe we can live violence-free in the future. If we don’t believe it, we will never see it.

Merepeka Raukawa-Tait has worked in the private, public and non-profit sectors. Today she writes, broadcasts and is a regular social issues commentator on TV. Of Te Arawa, Merepeka believes fearless advocacy for equity and equality has the potential to change lives.