Kevin Page: The sheer audacity beggars belief

Beggars, it seems, can be choosers. Photo / File

I have found that a stroll through the streets of our fair city late on a weekend afternoon is the perfect way to wash away the cares of the day.

Saturdays are best. Particularly when Mrs P has released me from my day's labour and sent me off to get a DVD and Lotto ticket.

That job complete, I always tend to take a stroll round the block just in case the council has spent some more of my rates money when I've not been looking.

It's particularly pleasant in town when there are very few people about.

Sometimes, if you are lucky, you can hear a million birds squabbling in one of the trees on Amohia St ... and marvel as they all defecate on the ground below at the same time.

Ah, the wonders of nature...

Anyway.

I was thus engaged - strolling, that is, not watching birds do poos - recently when a car pulled up a short way down Eruera St.

Out hopped a young man who, after exchanging farewell pleasantries with the driver of the late-model car, then turned and walked towards me.

"Excuse me, mate," he said, bold as brass from some five metres away. "Could you spare $2?"

I was somewhat taken aback but assumed, because he was so confident, he must have suffered some sort of financial loss.

I was even more surprised by his answer when I asked him if he'd lost his wallet or something."Nah, I just haven't got any money," he said.

Unfortunately for him, nor did I. And I strolled on.

I started thinking about beggars I have encountered over the years.

Years ago in Paris, Mrs P and I endured a harrowing approach from a young gypsy girl complete with a handwritten card explaining how her family had suffered terrible harm and she needed money.

Mrs P was on the third line of the note when I noticed sinister movement to our left. I didn't fancy hanging round to see if the note was genuine or the sinister movement was a Michael Jackson impersonator doing the moonwalk. I grabbed my beloved and we legged it.

Later we were told the ruse was common in Paris. A youngster holds you up while the adults come round behind you and make off with your Blockbuster video card ... and other stuff you might have in your wallet.

Of course in some cases there might be some physical interaction.

No1 Son was enjoying a stroll down a busy street in Buenos Aires, Argentina, a couple of years ago when he was similarly approached. Unfortunately, his rejection of the request for money was met with retaliation in the form of an Argentine fist.

Thankfully, though, the runner-up in the Mokoia Intermediate speech contest 2000 is able to look after himself and was doing okay until the beggar's mate joined in ... and stabbed No1 Son twice before the villainous pair ran off.

Luckily, No1 Son is schooled in the arts of medicine and he was able to get sorted without any major complications.

As he, Mrs P and I can attest, such begging approaches are fraught with dangerous possibilities and most definitely not a good look in a major tourism city.

I was still thinking thus as I came back round the corner to find our confident Rotorua beggar still "working" but this time on the other side of the road.

This time his targets were a couple - obviously tourists. Possibly surprised that even in little old New Zealand there are beggars, albeit well dressed, confident ones.

"Excuse me," he said, again bold as brass. "Don't suppose you could spare $5."

Five dollars, I thought, that's gone up three bucks since he talked to me on the other side of the street 20 minutes ago.

I guess even though it's not a good look, Rotorua has beggars who are well dressed and confident with an understanding of day to day economics.

It's just a shame anyone who can more than double their price in 20 minutes and charge for crossing the road can't use those skills elsewhere.