Now all of this will come as no surprise to those among you who are aware of my complete lack of savvy when it comes to all things technological. My brain simply does not work that way.
Yes, each day I fire up my computer and plunge headlong into the frantic world of newspapers. But I get by because I know what I need to know about the technology I use and very little else, if that makes sense.
It also helps to have kids who appear to have been born technologically capable. Maybe through the watery eyes of new fatherhood I didn't notice the latest XYZG50 smartphone with internet capability in their cherubic grasp.
I gather I am no different to millions of others around the world who worry that pressing the wrong button on something, somewhere will cause a nuclear emergency or, as seems to be the case at our humble abode, the power bill to rise dramatically. Mrs P is sure I've done something and it's costing us/me heaps.
But it seems I'm not the only one fretting over new technology lately.
Stephen Hawking, the famed wheelchair-bound brain box (for the more, er, mature reader he's the new Einstein), said recently he's a bit worried artificial intelligence, which basically means clever robots, are evolving so fast some time soon they'll work out how to take over.
To me this means if you are technologically super capable and therefore a threat to the robots you could quite possibly find yourself in a spot of hot water or whatever it is robots use to dispose of threats.
As for me they'll just laugh and leave me alone so I'll have more time to play golf.
Anyway. Steve's wheels would have been positively spinning along the old I Told You So Highway the other day with the revelation a pizza company is in talks with transport authorities to trial deliveries using flying robots in Canterbury.
Apparently two 100sq km areas will be set aside for the trial and heaps of other companies - from retail to local government - have expressed an interest and will be seeing how it all goes.
I'd imagine the seagulls (those that can read of course) and uni students will be keeping an eye on things too.
A super supreme with anchovies meandering through your skies would offer a more palatable dinner option than the pickings at the local dump I would imagine and I can see a big upsurge in deliveries to student parties if the $4.99 special comes with the booze-fuelled possibility of kidnapping a robot.
Even a silly old sod like me would find that hard to resist. Though I'm not sure how I would turn it off once I got it inside. It would probably fly around smashing into all sorts of things.
Never mind being in trouble with the police and the robot's owners. Mrs P would do her nut.
Yeah, nah, I'm probably better off sticking to my new phone and trying to work out where this sim thing goes.
I should have it sorted by the end of the day - then I'll start pressing buttons to see what happens.
Hopefully when you watch the news tonight there won't be any sudden nuclear emergency or a rash of flying robot pizza deliveries.
Kevin Page has been a journalist for 34 years. He hasn't made enough money to retire after writing about serious topics for years so he's giving humour a shot instead.
