Couple aim to buy cot allowing parents to grieve at home

Ashleigh French and partner Shane Morris with daughter Ever are fundraising for a special cot to give parents more time with babies they have lost, in memory of daughter Luka. Photo / Ben Fraser

Ashleigh French will never be okay with her daughter dying not long after being born, but being able to take her newborn home to process the grief has helped her come to terms with what happened.

The Rotorua mum had five days with Luka Pixie at home to take photographs, make casts of her tiny hands and feet and introduce her to the rest of the family and friends before they finally said goodbye.

"We had a good experience [with her at home] after the worst experience of losing her."

With that in mind, Ms French has set about raising money for a "cuddle cot" for Rotorua Hospital - a special cooling device that fits inside a bassinet or basket to allow families whose babies have died - to take them home for a short time.

While she and partner Shane Morris were lucky they had family in the funeral industry and knew they could take their girl home, others weren't necessarily given the option, especially as some babies were born too early to be embalmed, she said.

"Talking to lots of people, they didn't get that and I think it affects how you deal with it afterwards."

She said having Luka at home gave them time to realise it "wasn't going to work out the way you thought it was going to".

She said it was also beneficial for her older children.

Ms French had an emergency caesarean section with Luka after a reduction of foetal movements. While they expected Luka to be unwell, there were no indications she wasn't going to make it .

Mr Morris said that was the hardest part - having the doctors congratulate him on his new baby - only for them to start working on her. She died about 20 minutes later.

They aim to raise $5500 so the cot can be available in Rotorua by December 13, which would have been Luka's third birthday. "We'd like it to be a tribute to her."

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