Nickie Muir: Why can't they be like us?

The whole burkini ban debate has once again centred around what women should wear and how they should appear in public. Photo / Getty Images

The French Mayor who decided last week that women who were wearing more than a handkerchief and some dental floss were improper on the beaches of France needs to calm down.

In New Zealand we celebrate tolerance and diversity and even when confronted by random acts of aggression we have been loathe to react.

When France sent two agents to blow up a pesky vessel at the bottom of Queen St, we didn't ban baguettes and berets as symbols of state-sanctioned terrorism. Sure, the burkini isn't everyone's thing but then neither are speedos and I know which one I'd rather see Tony Abbott wearing.

Lots of things are definitely unwarranted, unseemly and generally unbecoming but should we ban them?

There are men in too tight shorts who must wear sandals with socks. Someone should offer them a free burkini as a gesture of public service.

Some people think onesies are actually daywear. Horrendous. The fact that a cafe in Kaitaia (I salute you!) has to inform clients that they won't be served if they are in one, is an indictment on a town's self respect. And yet. I won't be restraining anyone or suggesting bylaws against public onesie wearing.

What about grey suits? Should they be banned on the basis of being boring? Bike helmets and suits? Meh. On them.

Comb overs? Definitely should be illegal but really who cares? T-shirts on young children involving inappropriate sexual jokes. "Future Playboy Bunny". On a 3-year-old? Seriously not OK but should we call CYF?

The whole burkini ban debate has once again centred around what women should wear and how they should appear in public. If it's not Julia and her skirt, it's Helen and her hairdo or comments on Metiria's jacket; it's women and their appearance that seems to be the target.

If a country wants to go on a banning binge they really need to get creative and inspiring in making dumb annoying stuff illegal. Like Brunei: they banned Christmas - what's not to like about that? Iran banning hair gel for men is also refreshing but they should have gone all out and banned all forms of man-spray and then I could emigrate. Lynx is the death of every high school teacher of adolescent men.

The US has the difficulty of being one of the biggest producers of porn and to also have laws in many States that ban fellatio and then historically confuse it with sodomy. Only God and the police department would know how to collect evidence of people en flagrante without that constituting the making of porn but who am I to judge?

Last week hundreds of angry students in Austin, Texas publicly protested the fact that concealed guns - after all the mass shootings - were now allowed on campus.

In order to underline the absurdity, they brandished giant dildos, which are illegal, but generally not lethal. Considering the size of them though, I'm not so sure. In the interests of public safety best kept banned.