Armed police guard Linwood Mosque one week on from the Christchurch terror attacks Photo / Michael Craig
Armed police guard Linwood Mosque one week on from the Christchurch terror attacks Photo / Michael Craig
Nearly three months after the Christchurch mosque shootings, one of the survivors, Zibran Zahid Ali, has yet to summon the courage to go back to where it happened.
Northern Advocate reporter Imran Ali talks to his first cousin about the impact that day has had on his life.
I prayedat Linwood Mosque twice during a family holiday in Christchurch back in January, once accompanied by my cousin, Zibran, who cheated death during the terror attacks on March 15 in which 51 people lost their lives.
I caught up with him recently for the first time since then and it wasn't hard to deduce before the end of our yarn that life would never be the same for him.
Not only could he not sleep for three weeks, the affable Halal slaughterman made sure the curtains inside his flat were fully closed night and day and that no one sat close to windows and doors.
He speaks candidly, albeit with slight trepidation at times, about what happened that day, how he managed to survive, but, most importantly, how the shooting psychologically impacted his life in the days and weeks that followed. This is his story.
Zibran Zahid Ali couldn't sleep for three weeks and still fears the dark after surviving the shooting at Linwood Mosque. Photo / Supplied
As the gunman with a semi-automatic rifle aimed at people inside the Linwood Mosque, Zibran Ali lay face down and feigned death. He's at a loss to explain how he survived.
Was it because the shooter ran out of bullets or sheer good luck that the barrel wasn't pointed at or towards him during the gunman's spree? It may have been a combination of both.
Zibran is not in the slightest bit interested in how he lived that day. The 30-year-old who moved from Fiji to the Garden City less than two years ago is just thankful he survived and is reunited with his young family.
"I sank my head in the carpet, visualised the photo of my family, said my prayers, and waited for my turn to die," he recalled, referring to the moment the gunman stood at the entrance to the building.
As on every Friday, the father of two went to Linwood Mosque on March 15 and stood in the third row to pray when he heard a loud bang but didn't take too much notice.
A Nigerian praying in the first row walked across, peeked out the windows, and shouted: "They are shooting our brothers."
A worshipper praying closer to the window then took a bullet while others, including him, dived to the floor.
"I went to the back area where the ladies prayed and pretended I was dead. I lay face down, pictured my wife and kids, recited a verse from the holy Quran and prayed to God to save my life," Zibran said.
''That was as close to death as anyone can ever imagine. What would have happened to my wife and kids if I'd been shot?''
Zibran saw the former imam of Lautoka Mosque in Fiji, Hafiz Musa Patel, crawl to the back of the mosque and tell his wife he had been shot.
When the shooting was over Zibran and other survivors were debriefed by police and released after two hours.
Zibran Zahid Ali, who was caught up in the Christchurch attacks, never dreamt of going through such a traumatic event in a country like New Zealand. Photo / Getty Images
For two weeks afterwards Zibran kept himself sequestered in his flat.
"Once inside the house, I made sure the curtains were fully closed, lights were on, and made the kids sit away from doors and windows and told them to keep quiet because you never know who's lurking outside.
"The slightest of noises scared me. For three weeks, I went to bed as a formality. It was fiendishly difficult to sleep ... kept looking out the window. As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard gunshots."
Sleeping pills made nodifference initially until a heavy dose was prescribed by his GP that enabled him to catch up on some sleep.
Anything that triggered the shootings set him back.
"On my way to pick up a relative from the airport, I saw an old man with a walking stick that looked like a gun to me. Your heart skips a beat. Such was the psychological effect on me.
"I fear darkness, even driveways at night. The journey from home to work before sunrise usually takes me 20 minutes. On my first day back at work after the shootings, it took me 45 minutes."
He lasted just two hours at work that day before running out of strength.
Friday prayers resume at Linwood Mosque where Zibran Zahid Ali escaped unscathed after a gunman opened fire. Photo / NZME
Zibran couldn't muster the courage to go back to Linwood Mosque, even while armed police stood guard.
"That trust is gone. I used to drop my kids off to the Al Noor Mosque for classes but not any longer. They used to rush to open the door when someone came home but not any longer.
"My children knew what had happened but I tried to divert their attention away by keeping them busy on other stuff like watching cartoon. I could have held my wife and cried but that would have also affected her mentally which I didn't want to happen.
"I believe I've been given a new lease of life. Some were lucky, some not so. A Malaysian friend who's a work colleague was shot in the back. He survived but his son died. That also affects you psychologically."
Flowers and messages of support flowed in from all corners of the country after the Christchurch shootings. Photo / Peter de Graaf
He paid tribute to a plethora of people for the warmth and generosity, including emergency services personnel, counsellors, and even ordinary Kiwis.
"That makes you keep going. I never ever dreamt of going through such a traumatic event in a country like New Zealand. Although I didn't see anyone being shot at, the realisation the gunman was only metres away still sends shivers down my spine."
Fifty-one charges of murder, 40 of attempted murder and one of engaging in a terrorist act under section 6A of the Terrorism Suppression Act 2002 has been filed against the alleged gunman.
