Anti-violence campaigner tells how to recognise danger signs

Lesley Elliott set up the Sophie Elliott Foundation to raise awareness among young people of partner abuse. Photo / Paul Taylor

Physical abuse, control and erratic behaviour are signs a relationship can turn violent, a woman whose daughter was murdered by her former boyfriend told 150 people at a meeting in Maungaturoto.

Lesley Elliott told the "It's Not Okay" campaign meeting of signs she had missed before her daughter, Sophie, was stabbed 218 times in Dunedin seven years ago.

Mrs Elliott set up the Sophie Elliott Foundation to raise awareness among young people of partner abuse. She was made a member of the NZ Order of Merit in this year's Queen's Birthday honours for her work.

Mrs Elliott was at Maungaturoto with Bill O'Brien, a former police officer and author, who manages her speaking engagements at around 50 events on behalf of the foundation.

Libby Jones, of Paparoa, who advocates for healthy communities in Northland and is a local It's Not Okay champion, said the meeting at Otamatea High School was aimed at teenagers, parents and other community members.

"While Lesley can't change what happened to her daughter, Sophie, and their family, she is using her personal tragedy and courage to help change the future so we all know what to look out for to help keep our young people safe in relationships," Ms Jones said.

The next morning Mrs Elliott and Mr O'Brien attended a workshop for professionals from health, education, social services and police to discuss what else could be done in the local area to prevent family violence. Mrs Elliott and Mr O'Brien together wrote the book Loves Me Not. A programme for senior school students run by the police, based on the book, also raises awareness.

Ms Jones said the awareness programme was to be run in local high schools "which we are delighted about".

*bull;For more about the Sophie Elliott Foundation see its website: www.sophieelliottfoundation.co.nz

Advice from Lesley Elliott to help young people avoid violent relationships:
•Do not bring people into your life who weigh you down.
•If the relationship doesn't make you feel good, or doesn't feel right, then trust your instincts and act on them.
•Be yourself, you don't have to change yourself for another person.
•Look for the signs - threats, lack of empathy, unhealthy communication, physical abuse, power and control, erratic behaviour.
•It is okay to ask for help.
•Report assaults to the police - you may save your life or someone else's.