Last thing kids need is ugly parents

ANENDRA SINGH
I'm always wary of interview subjects who try to heap reverse-psychology guilt on you when the muck hits the fan.
"So what do you hope to achieve from that, Anendra?" the man on the other end of the telephone asked.
"Junior rugby is going to get a bad name if anything goes to print," he implored, referring to the front-page article in Monday's Hawke's Bay Today where the father of a junior Hastings rugby player made his intentions clear about laying a formal complaint to the police amid allegations a woman punched his 10-year-old son on the field last Saturday.
Well, now that the phone caller's got me started, here goes.
While some junior players this winter may have caught a flu bug, some spectators are likely to be struck down by a much more dangerous affliction known as ugly-parents syndrome.
Yes, I'm a parent and currently a coach of my 11-year-old daughter's predominantly boys' soccer team.
And no, I don't particularly care what code is going to get a bad name if there's some indiscretion that results in somebody being attacked.
It is appalling that any adult should feel compelled to run on to the field to threaten a child, let alone lash out at one.
If some adults did assault, abuse or incite violence while children played rugby last Saturday at Elwood Park, Hastings, then the onus should be on the code to ensure the culprits are dealt with severely, such as banning them from the sidelines for a lengthy spell.
Should police enquiries yield enough evidence that warrant charges, then so be it.
If children become involved in dirty play then the individual with the whistle in the field should be the one calling the shots. If coaches or parents on the sidelines feel their children are losing the plot then they should also pull them off.
Coaches should also have a handle on parents who behave badly.
It only takes one person to make children's sport an unpleasant experience for everyone - children, officials, coaches, parents and other fans.
That referee Jamie Wairau had to abandon the match prematurely must have been an anticlimax for everyone who was there to enjoy a top-of-the-table clash between Hastings East and Napier West.
It is abysmal that adults allegedly shaped up on the sidelines.
Physical disparities will always exist in the sporting arena and parents, unsure about exposing their children to such inequalities, have the right to pull their children out if they feel insecure.
Over the years, my 11-year-old daughter has always come up against towering boys in representative age-group cricket teams. Last season, a group of boys in the opposition team intimidated her, saying things like: "Let's get this little Indian boy out, fellahs."
Sensing the intimidation I encouraged her from the sidelines, yelling out at her to dig her toes in at the crease as a batsman. I certainly didn't tell her to turn around and whack the sledgers with her willow but to keep her head down, move her feet to the pitch of the ball and follow through - or simply defend if the bowler had earned her respect with line-and-length deliveries.
As for the "Indian boy", she has been growing her hair long and wearing enough accessories to ensure they know who she is.
It's one thing to encourage one's child to develop a steely resolve in competition but it's another thing to ask them to be violent.
Spectators need to understand that some "referees and umpires" are in the infancy stage themselves when it comes to officiating. Quite often they step in to referee because no one else is there to do it.
While it is an admirable trait for parents to want their children to do well those desires can become excessive to the point where the children essentially become an extension of their parents.
Maybe it's time for nominated officials to hand out yellow and red cards to fans who behave badly.