"Kids, can you go get some milk, and get a $1 mixture for yourself while you're there."
It's a sentence that has stood the test of time. Passed from generation to generation as soon as the kids are old enough to complete the 700m stroll on their own.
As it turns out, not in my co-host Megan Banks' house, as she revealed it's been over seven years since she last sashayed up the worn carpets of a local dairy to make a quick lolly grab.
Shocked at this revelation, we hastily called for local dairy recommendations and debated the best dairy lolly of them all.
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Clearly, the sour feijoa should be a top-three contender, I uttered immediately. The feijoa season being so limited, where else will you get such an accurate feijoa fix in the middle of winter, whilst also getting that sugary-sweet hit to get you through the day?
Disgusting. Came Megan's horrified reply, not even a top-10 lolly. (Though how someone who hasn't been through the Dairy Doors in seven years knows this, I'm unsure).
The Jersey Caramel takes the top spot with ease, she confidently said. You know what we used to call them in our $1 mix? Fried Farts. The disappointing bag fillers alongside those triangle volcano things that really don't taste of anything at all.
We looked to the txt replies from the people of Hawke's Bay for confirmation of either of those choices, but the first reply there was the Gloheart. A controversial choice because the somewhat tongue-numbing aniseed flavour isn't everyone's cup of tea.
Thinking back to my days on the paper run, spending my hard-earned $7 a fortnight on those little white paper bags of sugar, I tried to imagine which lollies sparked the most joy. The humble sherbet fizzer, I thought, crunchy, fizzy, five for 5¢ in my day. (10¢ a pop now?) No. Said the lady who hadn't been to the dairy in seven years. Not a quality lolly, what about teeth?
Teeth, for novelty factor and jamming onto your own teeth, do have some appeal, but as far as flavour goes the tooth lolly sits somewhere between milkbottles and milkshakes, and neither of them makes me quiver with delight.
We both agree a sour coke bottle has to be top three, but then again I'm not sure I can trust someone who last visited the dairy with a $1 note.
- Adam Green