You might as well use the Golden Oldies scrum rule.
It seems the thick-neck set of Anton Oliver and the Franks brothers is fast going out of fashion.
Now don't get me wrong. I'm all for moves to fiddle and tweak the eight-man machine to ensure players don't end up tetraplegics.
Maybe, just maybe, the Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC) has something to do with the evolution.
If it's that bad then why not have rugby resort to a rugby league-type of ceremonial scrum that provides a platform to restart the game after a knock on or a forward pass.
The primary motivation, apart from the wellbeing of players, is clearly the need to make the game move akin to poetry in motion.
That is, a free-flowing affair that would leave spectators spellbound from the opening whistle to the final one.
You get the impression that perhaps the penalty kicks and conversions will be the next toads to be spread-eagled and dissected on the petri dishes of the IRB's 24-hour laboratory.
Is there a likelihood rugby is in danger of injecting so much unleaded fuel into the engine room, in trying to reduce the carbon emissions, as it were, that it risks sacrificing a fair whack of grunt?
After all, lineouts, scrums, rucks and mauls are all facets of a code that give it a sense of identity and quaintness.
The beefy blokes no doubt spend countless hours several times a week, well before the season kicks in, to strengthen, tighten and fine-tune the testosterone beast.
Match simulation formations ... aah, who needs those any more.
You now have a bloke, resplendent in sickly sweet pink, telling the halfbacks when they can pop the ball in.
As a matter of interest, it'll be edifying to ascertain how many referees have been scrummagers in their playing careers or have served as halfbacks to sympathise with players who must feel like they are wearing bibs, waiting for mummy to push another spoonful into their mouths.
If the frontrow and halfbacks spit the dummy midway through the ITM Cup campaign, it shouldn't be surprising at all.
According to Hawke's Bay Today's calculations, the Hawke's Bay Magpies versus Manawatu Turbos opening National Provincial Cup match at McLean Park, Napier, on Saturday afternoon were 15 gob-smacking minutes poorer for having to set and re-set scrums.
If you ask the purists, they'll tell you the new rules of engagement have sucked the marrow out of the bones.
Come on, where's that spontaneity gone from the high-twitch fibre boys at the base of the scrum.
The team feeding the scrum, theoretically, should always have a slight rub of the green because they know the precise moment when the ball should enter the cauldron of contention.
Not long ago, just before the crouching wagon rolled into town, the bloke hanging tough between the props would have discreetly raised a finger to signal to his halfback it was an opportune time to chuck in the grenade.
Now the hooker's redundant and a third party is increasing anxiety levels.
In the yesteryear, the front row would relay messages via their halfback if they didn't feel comfortable about the proceedings.
Interestingly enough, the dynamic changes also took out the "baulking" facets from the halfback and lineout specialists' portfolios to minimise injuries.
While the scrummaging law wasn't introduced in Super Rugby, perhaps the premier club competitions around the country should have been the first point of entry to ease the ITM Cup players to the radical change.
On a different tangent, the mismatches in the opening round of the cup suggests some "fixing" of draws is desperately required to add zest for the sake of viewers.
The Magpies already look like they belong in the premiership but the prudent, of course, know the Turbos game resembled a pre-season hit-out.
The Ranfurly Shield clash between Waikato and Northland, though, had parity and had the Taniwhas prevailed, with the All Blacks away, domestic rugby would have been richer for it.
No doubt viewers also would have found traction with the Otago versus Bay of Plenty match in Dunedin.
Counties-Manukau's flogging is a testimony to how gaining promotion is one thing but footing it at premiership level is another.
Of course, Tana Umaga's men still have time to prove the critics wrong.
