Noni's needles say thank-you

Noni Wilson has been to just about every corner of the world - from the dusty streets of Guatemala to the sophisticated avenues of Paris and everywhere in between. But as the spring sun streams in through the windows of her small apartment at Atawhai Elder Care home in Taradale, it's probably a safe bet to say that this place, right here, is her favourite so far.
From a comfortable armchair, the 79-year-old can knit and reflect on a life lived well - six children spread across Hawke's Bay and the world, too many grandchildren to count at short notice and 10 great-grandchildren - "but don't quote me on that, there could be more", she says proudly.
It's clear that Noni is at peace with her world. The fact she is dying is simply a detail.
But 18 months ago, the situation could not have been more different. On the other side of an ovarian cancer diagnosis and several unsuccessful treatments of chemotherapy, the Napier woman had lost her will to live and, despite help from her children, was struggling to manage on her own at home.
"I just didn't eat, then the medication would make me sick and I was vomiting all the time. I felt I wanted to die and it just wouldn't happen."
Noni says she would almost certainly not be here today had she not made a desperate decision to call an ambulance when she hit rock-bottom.
"The man came around and got down on his knees and gave me a real telling off for putting up with so much pain. He told me to get in touch with the hospice."
It wasn't a comment that saved her life, but what it did do was change what was left of it. After an admission to Cranford for several days, Noni returned home with her pain properly managed and, since then, nurses have been regular visitors to her home to monitor her condition.
"It gave me a reason to live. Without them, I wouldn't have gone on. I would never have taken my own life but I probably would have just stopped eating and drinking. Before them, I had already lost four stone in a couple of months."
Now, she is proud to tell of the weight she has recently gained, and is busy helping to prepare for her 80th birthday at the end of this month. An invitation list sits nearby on the coffee table, stretching down the page and over to the other side.
Children and grandchildren are coming from across the world and excitement and anticipation ripple through her.
"I didn't think I would live to see last Christmas and now I know I will see this Christmas. I might have a few months or a few years. I hope it's not that long," she says with a chuckle.
If it is unsettling to hear someone talk about death with such good humour, it is somehow inspiring, too.
"I'm happy. I feel very lucky that I've had this time to put things in order. The family has all been to see me, I've had time to settle my affairs, give away the things I want to before I go."
An organiser right to the end, Noni has arranged her own funeral and picked out her favourite clothes.
"If it's convenient there's a green suit my daughter bought for me last year, and a cream blouse that my neighbour gave me. It doesn't scare me to talk about this. It comes to us all."
What did scare her was living at home without help. After several admissions to Cranford, the nurses suggested she spend time in the Rollinson wing at Atawhai - the hospice's two-unit respite facility attached to the Taradale rest home.
Available for short stays to give families of patients a rest, or to ensure proper care for people such as Noni, the units are provided by Cranford free of charge and the flowers in vases, paintings on the wall and neat little kitchens give them a feeling of home.
They've also given the Cranford team time to help Noni find a suitable rest home to move into permanently.
As a mug of tea and a biscuit arrive, care of a nurse, Noni explains that she is relaxed about leaving behind her independence and her home.
"They helped me make the decision to do that. I went home after my last time at the hospice and simply couldn't look after myself and I knew there was no one to look after me if something happened. It's a relief to know I no longer have that worry."
The free help she has got from the hospice is a far cry from the treatment she received from her local GP.
"I told the doctor I had lost all that weight and he said 'that's great, a lot of people would love to lose all that weight,' so I said I would have to buy a new wardrobe and he simply said that his wife would love to buy a new wardrobe, but I bet hers wouldn't have to come from a second-hand shop."
On a tight budget, there is no way Noni could pay for the care she is receiving from Cranford. As she prepares for her 80th birthday and her imminent death, she feels there is also no way she could ever thank them. So, instead, she knits.
She crafts booties and baby-sized woollen ponchos, knowing that when they are sold by Cranford, she will, in her own small way, be helping them to help someone like her.