Ngahiwi Tomoana: A time to reach out and share

Ngahiwi Tomoana on the power of wanau. Photo / File

I love Christmas time!

For 61 years, Christmas time has been about getting together, to give, to receive, to share, to holiday, to laugh, to relax. It's a time of hope, refreshing and reinvigorating the spirit, the body and the soul.

So, it was a huge surprise to me 15 years ago when my sister-in-law had adopted five of her sister-in-law's children, all boys, all under the age of 13 years, who had never experienced a Christmas, let alone a Christmas dinner, ever.

They had never received presents and they had never celebrated each other's birthdays. They didn't even know what was going on. Their father had committed suicide and their mother was in rehab. And this is the tragedy of Christmas that brings huge stress and pressure on parents and whanau who live in destitute states, and we, the neighbours, the whanau, the community carry on as though they didn't exist.

There must be many families and whanau out there dreading Christmas because of the expectations and stresses that lead to denial, or worse, domestic violence. These families normally suffer in silence and alone, but are well known to social agencies.

We have to reach into these voids and "mirimiri" or massage people in these situations, not just at Christmas, not just at Easter, not just at Matariki, but throughout the year.
Whanau are the power of hapu and the strength of the iwi, and we as iwi leaders and community leaders, must stretch ourselves into these uncomfortable zones to try to alleviate the loneliness and destitution.

If our whanau aren't functioning, neither do our hapu or our iwi, and the whole system breaks down.

The social and voluntary agencies that put their heart and soul into these whanau and families must be congratulated, supported and heralded as our community heroes. Without them, things would get drastically worse.

So, through the love of my sister-in law for these five boys as well her own five children (she was and still is a working, solo parent), I am pleased to report that these boys are all working in trades in Australia, and one is in the Navy in Auckland. A little love goes a heck of a long way! These boys travelled thousands of miles to find work. They all started off working in Wairoa and Affco.

So, thoughts go out to those who for no reason of their own, find themselves out of work, and looking for positive engagement in the workforce.

Toro atu, toro mai ... reach out and satisfaction will be yours! If there are any whanau you know out there who are in this situation, contact the iwi office, or any of the support agencies, and we will help in any manner we can, this Christmas.

Nga mihi nui o te ra whanau o Ihu Karaiti me nga manaakitanga o te tau hou ki a tatau. Merry Christmas and a happy new year everyone!

* Ngahiwi Tomoana is chair of Ngati Kahungunu Iwi Incorporated.